Officially "waiting"

Today we drove to Greenville to finalize our homestudy. We didnt really know what to expect other than reviewing our homestudy report. We left Charleston early to have lunch with the Beidlers, a family from our old church who moved upstate a couple of years ago. Their house was beautiful and the company was even better!

The first thing that they told us when we got there was that they had not had a chance to look over our portfolio yet. I was a little bit frustrated hearing this because I worked really hard on it and sent it to them almost a month ago. They are in transition and our social worker is taking over the domestic adoption program so I understand that our homestudy was happening during the transition, but it was a little disappointing to know the portfolio wasnt reviewed yet. Oh well!  We met in a conference room and had to privately read through the homestudy report to make sure everything was accurate. I have to say I was really impressed with how much work they put into writing it! It was probably 7 pages long and very detailed. Its a little strange seeing your whole life written out as a document for the court system, but thats how those things go! At the end we just signed our agreement and were done with the "visit."

I was a little concerned to find out just how small their domestic adoption program was. She told us that they only had 3 matches this year, which to me does not seem like very many.  They are trying to expand the program, but it seems that we just coming in at the beginning stages of that. I don't really know what I expected, I guess I just thought she would say, "I already know of a birth mother who is interested!" or something like that. I know that is totally unrealistic, but the reality of how long we may have to wait is starting to sink in. She discussed with us how we will have to update our homestudy in a year if we still aren't matched. Who knows,we may get a call in a month or two, but we need to prepare ourselves for a long wait. I started getting sad in the car ride home, and Dan could sense my frustration. He asked what I was thinking about, and I told him I did not care about money or buying a new car or house, I would happily drive the Taurus around till it bit the dust if it meant carrying a precious baby in the back seat. Dan told me that it is in Gods hands and not to worry but to enjoy where we are at because Gods timing is His timing, and its not up to us. I  am so glad that God gave me a husband who does not worry and just rests in Gods will, he is such an encouragment to me! We spent the rest of the car trip being silly and laughing, and I eventually fell asleep=).

When we got home this evening I went to scripture and looked for a  passage on peace. God must seriously shake his head at us sometimes at our impatience and lack of trust! It is so wonderful the way He speaks to our hearts through scripture and knows what we need before we even ask for it! I couldnt help but share this verse, it was such an encouragement as well as a reality check!

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

The Word of God is so true and perfect, I am ashamed that I let my mind worry instead of turning to scripture first. Pray that God will continue to give me that peace and comfort that He knows that desires of our hearts and already has a plan in place. My heart definitely needs guarded, and trusting in Gods infinite love and compassion is the only way to do that.

On another note, we discussed in the car about how we want to keep our options open in terms of adoption. I originally wanted to go to an agency because it was safer (in terms of not losing my job by adopting from a patient in the hospital, conflict of interest, etc). But I ran into a friend at a wedding this past weekend and she works in labor and delivery in another hospital in the charleston area. I thought, how silly of me to not think of that! As long as the patient does not deliver at my hospital, my job is safe. But there are 4 other hospitals with labor and delivery units in the Charleston area. So while we are waiting to be matched, we will keep open to other opportunities if they come up. This may seem like a plug, but if you live in the charleston area and know of anyone who is struggling with a decision about an unplanned pregnancy, dont hesitate to let them know about us, or give them our name or our lawyers name. you can privately email me(my email is under our profile) Or if you know me, you can just call me! We want everyone to know we are adopting, so spread the word! =) The more people who know, the more things that may come up. We know that God has a very special baby picked out for our family, and it will be exciting to see the road that takes us there! We are also praying for the expectant mother, whoever she may be, that God gives her the same peace I am praying for as she faces some difficult decisions.

Thank you so much for all of our encouragement and kindness, we are happy that you are following along in our adoption adventure. It sure is an adventure!!

<3 Olivia