Body Image

Ok just a warning, this post may not be for everyone. If you are female, I know that you struggle with body image and self-esteem, its just part of our nature. If you never have issues with it, well, tell me your secret!! Why do we struggle so much with body image? Especially women. I know men have a hard time with it too, just not in the same way.

 

 We are constantly bombarded with images of what we should like, how our hair, skin tone, makeup, butt, thighs, etc should look. Every time we go to the grocery store, magazine covers show us what beauty should look like. Well, what if we don't fit the mold? What if our eyelashes aren't long enough,our stomaches aren't toned enough, our legs arent bronzee enough? We end up feeling poorly about ourselves and wonder what we can do to improve ourselves.

Trust me I am not surfing for comliments when I say this, but I have terrible self-esteem. Not everyone knows that about me; and in fact, when I told my friend Patty at work that i really had a hard time with it, she was surprised. I spent 10 years of my life in leotards and pink tights in an environment where every ounce of fat was scrutinized. During that time, I also auditioned for modeling agencies. I got a couple of shoots, but when I tried out for a big agency in Cleveland called Ford Models (at age 12) I was told that I wasn't quite tall enough for runway, and I wasn't quite thin enough for printwork, and size 6 was the absolute maximum ever accepted. Thus began the poor self-esteem. Then I tried cheerleading, which was probably not the best move for a girl who was already self-consious.  Most of my friends at the time happened to be very tiny with very small hips, and I was small with more pronounced hips, so I always felt inadequate next to my peers. Anyhow, we all have stories of how we developed a negative body image, so I won't elaborate too much further.

 (neither of these are me in case you are wondering lol) So, its very easy to see how girls can develop poor self-esteem and a negative body image. I know many of us think, well if I just lost those extra pounds, if I had better hair, if I have nicer teeth, then I would feel pretty. I recently read an article, I think it was in People, about "hot bodies over 40," and at first glance, I thought wow! I would love to look that good at 40, heck, I would love to look that good now!

Then I thought, what if JESUS came back when I turned 40. Would He say, "Great job, you have really kept your stomach toned." Or, "I am so proud of you, you've worked so hard to keep wrinkles away, your skin looks flawless!" Once I thought about that, I was so ashamed. If Christ returned in 15 years, I think he would probably say something more along the lines of "What have you done to love others? How have you shown them my love? What have you done with all I have given you?"

This really shifted my mindset. Sure, its nice to feel good about how you look, but I really needed this reminder:

"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Sam 16:7



Beauty comes from within!!! Have you ever met someone who may not be very attractive on the outside, but once you get to know them, you realize what a beautiful person they are? Lord, help me to become less like me and more like You!

"All people are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
²⁵ but the word of the Lord endures forever.” ^{1 Peter:25}

Our time on earth is so short, and instead of being obsessed with our PHYSICAL image, we should be concerned with our hearts. My person icon, Audrey Hepburn was a beautiful woman, but it was not her physical beauty that made a lasting impression. She did many humanitation works after her time in the movies, and although I don't know what her relationship with God was like, she made her life mean something beyond movies and fame.



So what should we do with our body image issues? I think if we shift our paradigms to focus on what the Lord sees as beautiful, our confidence in HIM and ourselves will change. I am by no means an expert in this, I am sorting through these body image issues just as you are! I also don't want you to think physdical health isn't important. Taking care of our bodies is a command from scripture. My husband would love me no matter what I looked like, but I don't think it would be right to wear baggy sweatpants everywhere, stop excerising and eat crappy food all the time. There just needs to be a balance!!! We are beautiful because God created us in HIS image, and He loves us just as we are.

I want my daughter to grow up with a healthy self-image as a girl and eventually as a woman, and know that her true beauty comes from within.

And now to end with an Audrey Hepburn quote ;)

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”



Mothers Day and Mia's Dedication

What a beautiful day. Dan and I went to church together for the first time in probably 6 months. Don't worry, we still both go but Dan usually plays in the band so he leaves at the crack of dawn and I get up with Mia and play in the morning and then we go to the 11:15 service ;). Hey, I never claimed to be a morning person!  The sermon was dedicated to Mother's Day and was really good, as usual. It was also very bittersweet for me because although I am filled with immense joy at the notion that I can truly celebrate the wonderful gift of motherhood, there was also a tinge of sadness in the loss of a close relationship to my own mother. I don't really want to go into too much detail, but there will always be a bit of wistfulness in my heart. I know that God wants me to take that pain and turn it into motivation to be the best mother I can be and always put my child before myself. I love her so much and want to be a great, godly example to her. Only through Christ will I be able to!

We followed the sermon with a sweet baby dedication for Mia. There were 29 babies/children dedicated! What a blessing! I am priveleged to be charged with raising Mia in a godly home, and grateful to have friends and family who will surround us and encourage us in spiritual wisdom.  Dan and I went for a quiet lunch with Mia and reflected on the gift that she is to us!  For my none-facebook friends, here are some pictures of the dedication:

I am also extraordinarily grateful to Mia's birthmother. I can only imagine the emotions she must be going through today. I am thankful that I have a relationship with her, I received a Happy Mother's Day text from her this morning. We had a rocky start but I love that I can tell her how thankful I am to her and what an incredible woman she is for all the sacrifice she made. She gave us the greatest gift possible!

One quick word to all the motherless, and those who are waiting for their first child. Please don't give up hope! I know how painful this day is for you; I didn't even want to acknowledge Mother's Day last year, I couldnt let my heart go there. But know that God knows the desires of your heart, and if you are aching to hold that sweet little child, He knows and He will grant you the desires of your heart. It may not be in the way you planned or expected, but His way is SO much better then ours! Even as the heavens are higher the the earths, His ways are better then our ways. (Isaiah 55)

gearing up for my first Mothers' Day

It feels so surreal that I am about to celebrate Mother's Day. I started receiving cards in the mail and thought, why on earth am I getting cards, my birthday isn't till July? I think for so long my heart ached on mother's day, its hard to accept the fact that I can in fact rejoice.  I am still humbled and amazed that we have a beautiful, sweet giggling 7 month old-and shes OUR daughter! A friend at work recently asked why our adoption went so smoothly when there are so many "horror" stories out there. I told that first, alot of people were praying for this little one, and also God chose to bestow favor on us. It was nothing that we did, we give the Lord all of the credit. God's love has been displayed through the gift of Mia. I am so so thankful for her and I fall more in love with her every day.

So what is Mia up to? She has become so so interactive. She loves to play with us and she's even discovered she can pull on the dogs ears and tails. They actually love it and think she's playing with them. (I'm pretty sure they think she's a puppy!) We are still working on getting her to sit up by herself but she is practically crawling, so I know the sitting will come soon. My best friend specializes in this kind of stuff and said the most important thing is social and emotional development and she is definitely passing that with flying colors!! She thinks everything (including mommy dancing) is hilarious, its so great.  I love giggling with her :). Anyhow I have so so much more to write and update, but just wanted to write a quick note!