the working mama

It's been a few weeks since my last post. Several reasons can account for this. First, I started back at work. My first shift was actually New Years Eve. Second, our main computer crashed (thankfully we backed it up!) and blogging on the ipad is kind of annoying because it tries to auto correct everything and the keyboard isn't very user friendly since its virtual. So, today is the day for amazing thoughts and reflections from Olivia. Ok not really, but I do want to update you on our life with Mia (and maybe just a few thoughts!)

How do I feel about going back to work? Did I cry? Was I so sad to leave Mia the first time? Do I think about her the whole time I'm there? These are some of the questions I've been getting, so I'll answer them one at a time :). It feels great to go back to work. Although its an incredibly exhausting and demanding job, I couldn't wait to get back. I seriously applaud stay-at-home moms because I don't know if I could do it. I was getting a serious case of cabin fever by the end of maternity leave. Plus I missed my work friends and having adult interaction and using my brain in ways other then figuring out how much formula to add to the water in a bottle is so refreshing. Again, I am not belittling stay-at-home moms. I think you guys are amazing. I've just never really been the homemaker type, (cooking and laundry arent my best assets) and I've always liked working. It definitely helps that I only work 3-12 hour shifts a week. Its a long day, but coming home to a beautiful giggling baby is so worth it.

 I didn't cry when I went back to work, and I wasn't really sad. This may sound callous, but since she's at home with Daddy, I know that shes perfectly content and in her comfort zone, so it makes me feel good about leaving her. I think it would be a ton harder if she was getting dropped off at daycare. Do I think about her while I'm at work? Of course, but only here and there because frankly we have been so insanely busy, I'm lucky if I get to go to the bathroom, let alone eat lunch.

For those of you who are new to the blog, I am a labor and delivery nurse, and I came back just in time to start my charge rotation. There are many ups and downs to that, and overall I don't mind it but certain issues make it sometimes difficult to do my job. Thankfully, I absolutely love the girls I work with, and really sometimes we only make it through the day because of eachother.

So how is my baby girl? absolutely amazingly wonderful! She has changed so much in the past month, her little personality is really developing. Every morning she wakes up talking to herself-making the cutest noises. I just love it! When I come to her crib and peek in on her, she gets this huge smile on her face and starts giggling. That smile is worth every heartache, every disappoint on the road to now. Mia has really connected with us. We went to my friend Katie's baby shower, and Mia could not take her eyes off of Dan. It was so cute! No matter where he was, she just followed him with her eyes all over the room. She's such a happy happy girl, and SO much fun to be around. I think shes going to have a pretty chill personality. Every once in a while, she breaks out into hysterical crying, but usually its because shes really tired or really hungry. Its pretty funny actually because she will go from just hanging out with us to sobbing in seconds. She also talks to her toys hanging from her swing. It sounds like she's having full conversations with them. Every time I try to video her, she stops and just stares at the camera. How does she know? Well, I finally snapped a shot with my phone of her smiling when she wasn't paying attention.

She will be four months next Thursday, I cant believe it! Time is flying and we are enjoying every second. Sometimes when she wakes up super early, like 530-6am, I feed her, and then bring her into bed with me and we snuggle and sleep together. She cuddles her little head right up next to mine.

The other day I went to Target with Mia to pick up some baby stuff, and had a mini-revelation. I looked around and saw all kinds of moms with shopping carts topped with infant carriers, and I was so humbled and THANKFUL. So thankful that I was one of those moms! Sometimes it doesnt seem real, but in that moment, I realized just how far God has taken us. I remember vividly walking past the baby section and forcing myself to look away, wondering if I'll ever get to shop in those aisles. Many things in life we take for granted, but shopping in the baby section at Target is something that I definitely do not! It really is the little things in life.

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