Crazy Beautiful

Wow, it's been two months since I blogged, I cant believe it. I dont even know where to start...Life really has been crazy and beautiful at the same time.

We'll start with Mia's 6 month appointment. I was a little bit nervous because she wasn't sitting up or rolling over yet, but everyone assured me that it was no big deal and babies do things at different times. So when we got to the pediatricians office, she had a heel stick to check her hemaglobin and hematocrit. Well the hemaglobin (tells you how much iron is in your blood) was a little low, so the pediatrician seemed a little concerned. She started asking all sorts of questions about Mia's birthmother history to see if there was a reason it was low. And by low, I'm talking 10.5 (normal value 11-13). So we told her she wasn't really sitting up by herself. She loves her excersaucer but we usually put a little blanket behind her back to help her from falling backwards. The pediatrician said this was not normal and she should be sitting without support by six months. Then I asked her about the spots above Mia's eyes.

They are little white patches above her eyes that dont bother me at all but I was just double checking to make sure she doesnt have some kind of skin condition. Our pediatrician had absolutely no idea what they were, but seemed concerned that it was some kind of fungal infection and said to watch it closely and if it spreads that Mia will need a dermatology consult. We were like, oh gosh! I am a worrier by nature, so all of this had me a little overwhelmed. They drew a formal CBC to recheck Mia's hemaglobin and said they would call with results. Our pediatrician had us make an appointment for 1 month instead of 3 months away. Well, I went to work the next day and my co-workers/friends are pretty much all moms and they said our pediatrician was overreacting, especially about the "developmental delays." During the day I received a phone call from a nurse at the office who said Mia's formal CBC came back with a hemaglobin of 12 (which is completely normal!). Our evening secretary Joyce said that her son had the same spots above his eyebrows and that it was no big deal. So that made me feel so much better! But, they are kind of scaly looking so I will probably just pay close attention to make sure they don't spread or anything. (as if I don't already spend all day staring at my baby :) )

Then this Tuesday evening, Mia was on her playmat on her back and was sort of rolling to her side(she usually does that, especially when she is sleeping) and all of a sudden, she was on her bell with her arms propped up under her looking very proud. Dan and I were hilarious, we were crouched down congratulating her, sending text messages, etc. We were so excited!!

I really can't help but feel SOO blessed with this amazing, beautiful sweet little baby girl. She is so happy; when I get her from her crib in the morning she kicks her legs and squeals in delight. Is there really anything better then that? I fall more in love with her every day. She is soo snuggly and I love our morning naps/cuddle time.  This was her falling asleep on Daddy.

So some people have asked me what is happening with our birth mother contact. If you remember from a post a while back, we were somewhat strained because BM wanted alot more then we were able to give. Well I really prayed about the right thing to do and so I gave her several dates to meet for a visit. I knew God wanted us to open our hearts to her and what she needed and I felt really at peace about scheduling a visit. To our surprise, she canceled each visit. I don't really know why but I think she is probably starting to move on with her life. I am so happy to be able to send her pictures and updates (which is what we had initially wanted anyway but we were willing to do more if needed) so it really has all worked out. She (BM) loves hearing updates about Mia and receiving pictures. I created an email account just for her so I could send as many pictures as she wants. Its amazing how much my heart has changed toward her as well. To be honest, at first it was really hard to communicate with her because I was so emotionally drained and confused. Now, all I feel is gratitude and compassion toward her. She gave us the greatest gift she could and made an incredibly mature, self- sacrificing decision.

look at this little pumpkin!!

 My happy happy girl!

What else is new? Well, I was recently asked by the amazing Angie Rylands to be a part of the board of directors for Lifeline Children's Services! I am so humbled and excited for this opportunity. This adoption agency is currently in 8 states throughout the US. Services focus on international and domestic adoption, foster care, and orphan care (unadopted). I am so so excited because God has always given me a passion towards adoption and orphans and I just didn't know how to take the next step. Well God has brought Angie and I together in several different ways. We used to play french horn together in ECBCs orchestra, and by that I mean that she played beautifully and I pretended to play and chimed in on the easy parts lol. Angie and her husband Tom have recently adopted pretty incredible boys from China (click on her name above to read her story!) two Anyhow, this agency is morning to Charleston and Angie is serving as the state director. It is incredible to see how God has used her to propel this ministry.

That being said, I would like to tell you guys about a meeting we have THIS TUESDAY the 17th! It's from 6:30-8:30 and it is for everyone! We want to inspire Christians to answer the call to orphan care. Does this mean adoption? Maybe, but it also means supporting orphans, getting involved in foster care, and all kinds of things! I'm so excited about this meeting and I want you to be there!!

Heres the link! https://www.facebook.com/journeytogetheradoption

Please Join Journey Together Ministries as they welcome Lifeline Children’s Services to Charleston! Lifeline celebrates over 30 years of ministering to families and providing the hope of Christ to children in need.
Lifeline staff will be sharing their vision for Orphan care worldwide on April 17, 2012 at the Longpoint Rd. campus of Seacoast Church. You will hear about the history of Lifeline’s ministry and learn ways in which God may be calling you to serve his heart for the orphan.
This event is open to the public and will begin at 6:30 p.m. 

 One last thing, all of Mia's Easter pics! She was soo tired when I took this because it was the end of the day, but I just loved celebrating Easter with her and I can't wait until she is old enough to understand what Jesus did for us!!

 

Hair product review and house update

Hi guys! So I decided I wanted to start putting a little moisturizer in Mia's hair, but I wanted something natural and baby friendly. Some people have said to use baby oil, but I also heard that it can cause hair  follicles to get plugged and hair to break off, so for a while I was using baby lotion because her scalp was so dry. Now, her scalp dryness is pretty much gone, but her hair is so big and wild. Its absolutely beautiful, but she has such pretty curls, I want to be able to see them more. I will admit that I play with her hair all the time, and she loves it! But it also makes the curls less defined. So my friend at work recommended a product, and I took a chance and ordered it. Check out the results!!

Before:

After:

amazing right?

I just love this look! I ordered two products, one-a moisturizer for days I don't wash it, and the other one is a "curl definer". I put that in her hair right after a bath. It is so fun experimenting with her beautiful hair! If you are interested in the products, its at curls.biz. They have products for all ages and their target audience is multi-racial. It was started by a biracial woman who couldnt find any hair products that she loved, so she started her own. The baby products are all natural, so nothing harmful. i'm not sure about the other products, but I think they are all natural too. You will have to check the website to be sure.

So for our house update, we found a great house! We realized we either had to sacrifice in size or monthly rent, so we decided to pay a little more for a house that would fit our needs best. We are leased till next July, so hopefully by then we will figure out where we want to buy a house, because I am tired of renting! But this house is awesome, and actually bigger then what we are in right now. Dan will have plenty of room to work, and Mia will have plenty of room to grow!! We move next Thursday, March 1st, so after we move I will post some pics! yay thanks for your prayers, this house really is an answer to prayer.

Ok now for what you really want, cutie pictures!!

 

First walk without the infant carseat! she loved it!

I'm such a big girl, I'm eating solids!

Happy happy girl :)

 

I can almost sit up!

My favorite pic, this is what I came home to after work one night. Does it get any better then this?

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Be careful what you wish for! And Mia's 4 month visit

Seriously, I can't help but hear Alanis Morrisette's song "isn't it ironic?" running through my head. What am I talking about? Well, let me just tell you. The day after I wrote the previous post on contentment, I checked my email and found out we are getting kicked out of our house!! Apparently the owners decided they want to move back in June 1st. They must love my decorating so much they realized they were missing out. ha! No, we really have no idea why they are moving back in. They live about 2 miles away in a much bigger house, so maybe they can't afford their house? So now we have to scramble to find a house that meets all of our needs AND is affordable. Since Dan works from home, he really needs a work space to effectively run his business. We also need a fenced in yard because of our dogs. Easier said then done! Ah, well now we are also realizing how good of a deal we were getting on rent too. So the moral of the story is- be careful what you wish for, you just might get it! We didn't really like the house we are in, so now we have to move..."A little too ironic, yeah I really do think!"

Today was Mia's 4 month old appointment. She actually turned 4 months last week, but they didn't have any openings. I was secretly worried about her not reaching certain milestones, but her doctor was very unconcerned, in fact, she said we should write a book on parenting! Lol I actually laughed out loud at that, because we really don't know what we are doing, we are just learning one step at a time. I think she meant that Mia is happy and healthy and pretty much doing all the things a 4 month old baby should do. Before the doctor came in to the exam room, I noticed Mia had some dryness on her arms. I thought, oh no! I don't want the pediatrician to think we aren't keeping her skin moisturized. I noticed a bottle of Cerave, which is the brand of lotion my friend at work uses for her kids ethnic skin. I told Dan to quickly bring me the bottle before the doctor came in so I could moisturize Mia. Halfway through slathering her with the slippery liquid, I realized I was covering her in soap! I'm like crap, now she's going to think I'm an even worse parent for putting liquid soap all over my kid's skin! I made Dan get me some wet paper towels so I could get the soap off of her skin before our doctor came in. Dan was just shaking his head at my ridiculousness. It was pretty funny. Then I got some dry paper towels so she wasn't soaking wet either. By the time the pediatrician finally did come in, everything was back to normal and I innocently pretended none of the previous fiasco hadn't happened. I did burst out laughing after she left the room and I realized what hilariousness had ensued.

Anyhow, Mia is happy and healthy and in the 75th percentile for weight and along a perfect growth curve. Our pediatrician commented on how lucky Mia was to have us for parents. I replied that actually, we were the lucky ones!! And now we are going to start her on solids! I'm excited!!

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Contentment

Ok this is going to be a really honest post. Well, all my posts are honest, but you know what I mean. I struggle with contentment. I think most people do to an extent, living in the US and all, but I just really wish I didn't struggle with it so much! God has given us the most beautiful daughter, and now I am on to the next thing we don't have: a house. Its embarrassing to admit, but its true.

We are renting a house, and it suits our needs alright, but most of my friends have either bought or built a house recently, and I'll admit that I have at times been jealous. We dont own a house for several reasons. 1) we had a choice last year: either adopt or buy a house. (I think that was a no-brainer!) 2) Now that we have adopted and started a family, we have to really think about buying a house because we don't want to commit long-term to Charleston if we know we eventually want to move a little closer to home. So for now we continue renting. Our house is not bad, its way better then living in an apartment, but it has some structural flaws that make us nervous about being here long-term. It works just fine with one child, but eventually when we expand our family, we will need something bigger. We have been having issues with mold, and so the stuff in the storage area (where we think the mold is) somewhat had to be moved into the house. We have really tiny closests and I have found myself getting really frustrated. We don't have a ton of stuff, just the normal Christmas decorations, winter clothes, etc in the storage area. Our "master" closet is actually in our little bathroom, which makes it hard to get ready in the morning.

Recently God gave me a reality check. You've heard "God speaks in mysterious ways" but sometimes He really does! and this time, it was through a TV show. Dan and I enjoy watching HGTV, especially the property shows. We were watching House Hunters the other night. The couple on the show came from the projects, got married, had 3 kids and started a business. Well, this business became really successful, and they became millionaires. On the show, they were looking for houses in the $1.5 million range in Orange County, CA.  These houses breathtakingly beautiful. But every single house the couple had an issue with. "The master is too big" or "the master is too small" or "it needs alot of work" and by work, they meant that they didnt like a particular feature such as the color of granite etc. Watching this show, I was sickened by how these people were acting, especially with where they came from. It made me really wonder' "Will it ever be enough?" When will we stop wanting more and more?

Then I thought about the countries I have been to on missions trips, and articles I have read in magazines like Voice of the Martyrs. Entire families living in one-room shacks with dirt for carpet and plywood or sticks for walls. I was so ashamed of my discontentment.

Haiti

India

The US

A House destroyed by Katrina

I am so thankful that God gives us his word to remind us of such simpful truths!

Matthew 6:19 -21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

 I was talking to someone at work about Beyonce, and although I admire her music, I was shaking my head at her lifestyle. She recently wore a pair of $100,000 jeans. Seriously? So many people across the world can be blessed with that much money. This co-worker told me, "my mom always said, you never see a U-Haul behind a hearse!!" Funny, but also very true. 

Every good and perfect gift is from above. God has given us everything we have, and he can just as easily take it away. You, know we may not live in an amazing house, but it is a house. We have running water and can take hot showers 3x a day if we want to! We can put food on the table every day, and we aren't worrying about where our next paycheck will come from. We are able to provide for our daughter, and buy her the diapers and formula she needs. We can even provide for our dogs.  Our pastor Greg Suratt at Seacoast mentioned tithing today, and how when his children were younger he taught them the simple biblical truth about tithing. I admit Dan and I sometimes forget to tithe, but we know it is SO important, because everything we have is from the Lord, and its all we can do to give back a mere 10%.

So what God has also been trying to tell me is "Stop worrying! Don't you know I will provide for you if you trust me?" One of my favorite verses and and amazing reminder, also from Matthew 6.

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Thanks for reading my lengthy post!!

Contentment

I struggle with contentment. Pretty much on a regular basis. We live in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house. We don't own our house, for a variety of reasons. A couple of years ago we weren't really ready to buy a house. Then when we finally had enough money saved, we found out we couldn't have biological children, the money went to our adoption. So

the working mama

It's been a few weeks since my last post. Several reasons can account for this. First, I started back at work. My first shift was actually New Years Eve. Second, our main computer crashed (thankfully we backed it up!) and blogging on the ipad is kind of annoying because it tries to auto correct everything and the keyboard isn't very user friendly since its virtual. So, today is the day for amazing thoughts and reflections from Olivia. Ok not really, but I do want to update you on our life with Mia (and maybe just a few thoughts!)

How do I feel about going back to work? Did I cry? Was I so sad to leave Mia the first time? Do I think about her the whole time I'm there? These are some of the questions I've been getting, so I'll answer them one at a time :). It feels great to go back to work. Although its an incredibly exhausting and demanding job, I couldn't wait to get back. I seriously applaud stay-at-home moms because I don't know if I could do it. I was getting a serious case of cabin fever by the end of maternity leave. Plus I missed my work friends and having adult interaction and using my brain in ways other then figuring out how much formula to add to the water in a bottle is so refreshing. Again, I am not belittling stay-at-home moms. I think you guys are amazing. I've just never really been the homemaker type, (cooking and laundry arent my best assets) and I've always liked working. It definitely helps that I only work 3-12 hour shifts a week. Its a long day, but coming home to a beautiful giggling baby is so worth it.

 I didn't cry when I went back to work, and I wasn't really sad. This may sound callous, but since she's at home with Daddy, I know that shes perfectly content and in her comfort zone, so it makes me feel good about leaving her. I think it would be a ton harder if she was getting dropped off at daycare. Do I think about her while I'm at work? Of course, but only here and there because frankly we have been so insanely busy, I'm lucky if I get to go to the bathroom, let alone eat lunch.

For those of you who are new to the blog, I am a labor and delivery nurse, and I came back just in time to start my charge rotation. There are many ups and downs to that, and overall I don't mind it but certain issues make it sometimes difficult to do my job. Thankfully, I absolutely love the girls I work with, and really sometimes we only make it through the day because of eachother.

So how is my baby girl? absolutely amazingly wonderful! She has changed so much in the past month, her little personality is really developing. Every morning she wakes up talking to herself-making the cutest noises. I just love it! When I come to her crib and peek in on her, she gets this huge smile on her face and starts giggling. That smile is worth every heartache, every disappoint on the road to now. Mia has really connected with us. We went to my friend Katie's baby shower, and Mia could not take her eyes off of Dan. It was so cute! No matter where he was, she just followed him with her eyes all over the room. She's such a happy happy girl, and SO much fun to be around. I think shes going to have a pretty chill personality. Every once in a while, she breaks out into hysterical crying, but usually its because shes really tired or really hungry. Its pretty funny actually because she will go from just hanging out with us to sobbing in seconds. She also talks to her toys hanging from her swing. It sounds like she's having full conversations with them. Every time I try to video her, she stops and just stares at the camera. How does she know? Well, I finally snapped a shot with my phone of her smiling when she wasn't paying attention.

She will be four months next Thursday, I cant believe it! Time is flying and we are enjoying every second. Sometimes when she wakes up super early, like 530-6am, I feed her, and then bring her into bed with me and we snuggle and sleep together. She cuddles her little head right up next to mine.

The other day I went to Target with Mia to pick up some baby stuff, and had a mini-revelation. I looked around and saw all kinds of moms with shopping carts topped with infant carriers, and I was so humbled and THANKFUL. So thankful that I was one of those moms! Sometimes it doesnt seem real, but in that moment, I realized just how far God has taken us. I remember vividly walking past the baby section and forcing myself to look away, wondering if I'll ever get to shop in those aisles. Many things in life we take for granted, but shopping in the baby section at Target is something that I definitely do not! It really is the little things in life.

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My List of "Must Haves" for a Newborn

So, many of my friends are having babies.  I thought I'd ring in the New Year with a list of the things I was soo grateful to have when Mia was first born. Having a new baby is amazing and wonderful, but can also be stressful! This is just a fun list of things, and they aren't in any particular order. Enjoy!

#1:  BOPPY PILLOW!

 I absolutely love this thing. Its a cuddly perfectly shaped "pillow" to support your baby when you need to set her down for a few minutes and want her to stay safe. They say not to let babies sleep in them, but Mia falls asleep in hers all the time.

 

#2 : BURP CLOTHES

These are a must have, especially if you are bottle-feeding, supplementing or pumping. My baby is especially drooly, and we dont feed her without a burp cloth. They are amazing

#3: BOTTLE WARMER

A real time-saver. Since microwaving bottles is not recommended, it can take forever to heat up your bottle in hot water. The bottle warmer is so easy and quick, we even take it with us when we travel!

#4: SWADDLE WRAP

Babies love to be swaddled. Swaddle blankets are great,but if you have a mover and wiggler like I do, she(or he!) will soon be breaking out of her blankets and then waking herself up because she's not swaddled.  The swaddler is great because it has velco so they are nice and snug and cant really get out of it. Mia started sleeping better as soon as we got one (thanks Sonja!)

#5: SOOTHIE PACIFIER

Other pacifiers just don't cut it. These are actually the ones we give to parents in the hospital, but they really are the best. If Mia is fussy for any reason, we give her the pacy and she couldnt be happier! The only downside is that you cant attach them to a pacifier clip, but hey, for a happy baby, its worth the trade off! It even helps her fall asleep at night which is wonderful. I like that you can put your finger inside of it so she can get a good suck on the pacifier.

#6 NETFLIX!

Netflix you wonder? Yes! It is an absolute must-have in my opinion. There are so many times that I watched it while feeding Mia just so I wouldn't fall asleep during feedings! It can really help get you through those first sleepless weeks when you are too exhausted to do much of anything else.

#7 DIAPER GENIE AND CHANGING TABLE

I combined these two because I had a picture of both of them together :) Not everyone claims to need a diaper genie, but it our house, its a must have. Our dogs love anything that smells disgusting, so diaper genie is the perfect way to hide stinky diapers. And its just plain convenient. There are many forms of changing tables, and its just so helpful to have a nice soft, clean place to set your baby down to change him/her. I love having bins underneath to easily grab diapers and other essentials.

#8 BABY SWING

Mia loves her swing. She loves the motion, the little toys hanging down and the music. She recently started talking to the toys which is adorable. Its such a great place to set her when I need to get stuff down around the house. She is happy in there for a long time and will usually eventually fall asleep!

#9 A GOOD BOTTLE OF WINE

Of course, I'm not breastfeeding so its a little easier for me to claim this as a must have. Sometimes after hours and hours of crying, there is nothing like a good glass of wine! For you breastfeeding moms out there, you can have a glass after you baby goes to bed for the night; or if shes still getting up to eat, theres always the good ole "pump and dump" method ;)

#10: INFANT TUB

Having a tub that is safe for a young baby is a must have. I love Mia's tub. My sister and I found it at Target on clearance. It has a mesh portion for her to lay in so that her head is supported and above water. It makes bathtime so easy! Remember, never leave your baby unattended!

#11 INFANT CARRIER
When you want to bring your baby with you, but don't want to pack a stroller or lug around a carseat, an infant carrier is the way to go. Now, I have a Target version of the Baby Bjorn, and I'm not completely happy. It hurts my shoulders after a while. I'm thinking of getting a Moby wrap. But I do overall love having something to carry Mia around in.  I love having her close to me!

#12: Instant Hand Sanitizer!
To conclude my list of must haves, I am a huge fan of instant-hand sanitizer. As a nurse, I'm pretty much obsessed with hand washing. I have a pump by Mia's changing table, and I use it constantly. Anyhow, you can never have too much around the house! But, if you get anything on your hands (poop, etc) you should always wash with soap and water.

Well, I hope you have enjoyed this fun little list, and I wish you a very happy New Years!!