Streams Through the Desert

Hair product review and house update

2012-02-22T09:43:00.001-08:00

Hi guys! So I decided I wanted to start putting a little moisturizer in Mia's hair, but I wanted something natural and baby friendly. Some people have said to use baby oil, but I also heard that it can cause hair follicles to get plugged and hair to break off, so for a while I was using baby lotion because her scalp was so dry. Now, her scalp dryness is pretty much gone, but her hair is so big and wild. Its absolutely beautiful, but she has such pretty curls, I want to be able to see them more. I will admit that I play with her hair all the time, and she loves it! But it also makes the curls less defined. So my friend at work recommended a product, and I took a chance and ordered it. Check out the results!!

Before:

After:

amazing right?

I just love this look! I ordered two products, one-a moisturizer for days I don't wash it, and the other one is a "curl definer". I put that in her hair right after a bath. It is so fun experimenting with her beautiful hair! If you are interested in the products, its at curls.biz. They have products for all ages and their target audience is multi-racial. It was started by a biracial woman who couldnt find any hair products that she loved, so she started her own. The baby products are all natural, so nothing harmful. i'm not sure about the other products, but I think they are all natural too. You will have to check the website to be sure.

So for our house update, we found a great house! We realized we either had to sacrifice in size or monthly rent, so we decided to pay a little more for a house that would fit our needs best. We are leased till next July, so hopefully by then we will figure out where we want to buy a house, because I am tired of renting! But this house is awesome, and actually bigger then what we are in right now. Dan will have plenty of room to work, and Mia will have plenty of room to grow!! We move next Thursday, March 1st, so after we move I will post some pics! yay thanks for your prayers, this house really is an answer to prayer.

Ok now for what you really want, cutie pictures!!

First walk without the infant carseat! she loved it!

I'm such a big girl, I'm eating solids!

Happy happy girl :)

I can almost sit up!

My favorite pic, this is what I came home to after work one night. Does it get any better then this?

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Be careful what you wish for! And Mia's 4 month visit

2012-02-02T10:49:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I can't help but hear Alanis Morrisette's song "isn't it ironic?" running through my head. What am I talking about? Well, let me just tell you. The day after I wrote the previous post on contentment, I checked my email and found out we are getting kicked out of our house!! Apparently the owners decided they want to move back in June 1st. They must love my decorating so much they realized they were missing out. ha! No, we really have no idea why they are moving back in. They live about 2 miles away in a much bigger house, so maybe they can't afford their house? So now we have to scramble to find a house that meets all of our needs AND is affordable. Since Dan works from home, he really needs a work space to effectively run his business. We also need a fenced in yard because of our dogs. Easier said then done! Ah, well now we are also realizing how good of a deal we were getting on rent too. So the moral of the story is- be careful what you wish for, you just might get it! We didn't really like the house we are in, so now we have to move..."A little too ironic, yeah I really do think!"

Today was Mia's 4 month old appointment. She actually turned 4 months last week, but they didn't have any openings. I was secretly worried about her not reaching certain milestones, but her doctor was very unconcerned, in fact, she said we should write a book on parenting! Lol I actually laughed out loud at that, because we really don't know what we are doing, we are just learning one step at a time. I think she meant that Mia is happy and healthy and pretty much doing all the things a 4 month old baby should do. Before the doctor came in to the exam room, I noticed Mia had some dryness on her arms. I thought, oh no! I don't want the pediatrician to think we aren't keeping her skin moisturized. I noticed a bottle of Cerave, which is the brand of lotion my friend at work uses for her kids ethnic skin. I told Dan to quickly bring me the bottle before the doctor came in so I could moisturize Mia. Halfway through slathering her with the slippery liquid, I realized I was covering her in soap! I'm like crap, now she's going to think I'm an even worse parent for putting liquid soap all over my kid's skin! I made Dan get me some wet paper towels so I could get the soap off of her skin before our doctor came in. Dan was just shaking his head at my ridiculousness. It was pretty funny. Then I got some dry paper towels so she wasn't soaking wet either. By the time the pediatrician finally did come in, everything was back to normal and I innocently pretended none of the previous fiasco hadn't happened. I did burst out laughing after she left the room and I realized what hilariousness had ensued.

Anyhow, Mia is happy and healthy and in the 75th percentile for weight and along a perfect growth curve. Our pediatrician commented on how lucky Mia was to have us for parents. I replied that actually, we were the lucky ones!! And now we are going to start her on solids! I'm excited!!

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Contentment

2012-01-29T14:02:00.000-08:00

Ok this is going to be a really honest post. Well, all my posts are honest, but you know what I mean. I struggle with contentment. I think most people do to an extent, living in the US and all, but I just really wish I didn't struggle with it so much! God has given us the most beautiful daughter, and now I am on to the next thing we don't have: a house. Its embarrassing to admit, but its true.

We are renting a house, and it suits our needs alright, but most of my friends have either bought or built a house recently, and I'll admit that I have at times been jealous. We dont own a house for several reasons. 1) we had a choice last year: either adopt or buy a house. (I think that was a no-brainer!) 2) Now that we have adopted and started a family, we have to really think about buying a house because we don't want to commit long-term to Charleston if we know we eventually want to move a little closer to home. So for now we continue renting. Our house is not bad, its way better then living in an apartment, but it has some structural flaws that make us nervous about being here long-term. It works just fine with one child, but eventually when we expand our family, we will need something bigger. We have been having issues with mold, and so the stuff in the storage area (where we think the mold is) somewhat had to be moved into the house. We have really tiny closests and I have found myself getting really frustrated. We don't have a ton of stuff, just the normal Christmas decorations, winter clothes, etc in the storage area. Our "master" closet is actually in our little bathroom, which makes it hard to get ready in the morning.

Recently God gave me a reality check. You've heard "God speaks in mysterious ways" but sometimes He really does! and this time, it was through a TV show. Dan and I enjoy watching HGTV, especially the property shows. We were watching House Hunters the other night. The couple on the show came from the projects, got married, had 3 kids and started a business. Well, this business became really successful, and they became millionaires. On the show, they were looking for houses in the $1.5 million range in Orange County, CA. These houses breathtakingly beautiful. But every single house the couple had an issue with. "The master is too big" or "the master is too small" or "it needs alot of work" and by work, they meant that they didnt like a particular feature such as the color of granite etc. Watching this show, I was sickened by how these people were acting, especially with where they came from. It made me really wonder' "Will it ever be enough?" When will we stop wanting more and more?

Then I thought about the countries I have been to on missions trips, and articles I have read in magazines like Voice of the Martyrs. Entire families living in one-room shacks with dirt for carpet and plywood or sticks for walls. I was so ashamed of my discontentment.

Haiti

India

The US

A House destroyed by Katrina

I am so thankful that God gives us his word to remind us of such simpful truths!

Matthew 6:19 -21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I was talking to someone at work about Beyonce, and although I admire her music, I was shaking my head at her lifestyle. She recently wore a pair of $100,000 jeans. Seriously? So many people across the world can be blessed with that much money. This co-worker told me, "my mom always said, you never see a U-Haul behind a hearse!!" Funny, but also very true.

Every good and perfect gift is from above. God has given us everything we have, and he can just as easily take it away. You, know we may not live in an amazing house, but it is a house. We have running water and can take hot showers 3x a day if we want to! We can put food on the table every day, and we aren't worrying about where our next paycheck will come from. We are able to provide for our daughter, and buy her the diapers and formula she needs. We can even provide for our dogs. Our pastor Greg Suratt at Seacoast mentioned tithing today, and how when his children were younger he taught them the simple biblical truth about tithing. I admit Dan and I sometimes forget to tithe, but we know it is SO important, because everything we have is from the Lord, and its all we can do to give back a mere 10%.

So what God has also been trying to tell me is "Stop worrying! Don't you know I will provide for you if you trust me?" One of my favorite verses and and amazing reminder, also from Matthew 6.

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Thanks for reading my lengthy post!!

the working mama

2012-01-20T13:35:00.000-08:00

It's been a few weeks since my last post. Several reasons can account for this. First, I started back at work. My first shift was actually New Years Eve. Second, our main computer crashed (thankfully we backed it up!) and blogging on the ipad is kind of annoying because it tries to auto correct everything and the keyboard isn't very user friendly since its virtual. So, today is the day for amazing thoughts and reflections from Olivia. Ok not really, but I do want to update you on our life with Mia (and maybe just a few thoughts!)

How do I feel about going back to work? Did I cry? Was I so sad to leave Mia the first time? Do I think about her the whole time I'm there? These are some of the questions I've been getting, so I'll answer them one at a time :). It feels great to go back to work. Although its an incredibly exhausting and demanding job, I couldn't wait to get back. I seriously applaud stay-at-home moms because I don't know if I could do it. I was getting a serious case of cabin fever by the end of maternity leave. Plus I missed my work friends and having adult interaction and using my brain in ways other then figuring out how much formula to add to the water in a bottle is so refreshing. Again, I am not belittling stay-at-home moms. I think you guys are amazing. I've just never really been the homemaker type, (cooking and laundry arent my best assets) and I've always liked working. It definitely helps that I only work 3-12 hour shifts a week. Its a long day, but coming home to a beautiful giggling baby is so worth it.

I didn't cry when I went back to work, and I wasn't really sad. This may sound callous, but since she's at home with Daddy, I know that shes perfectly content and in her comfort zone, so it makes me feel good about leaving her. I think it would be a ton harder if she was getting dropped off at daycare. Do I think about her while I'm at work? Of course, but only here and there because frankly we have been so insanely busy, I'm lucky if I get to go to the bathroom, let alone eat lunch.

For those of you who are new to the blog, I am a labor and delivery nurse, and I came back just in time to start my charge rotation. There are many ups and downs to that, and overall I don't mind it but certain issues make it sometimes difficult to do my job. Thankfully, I absolutely love the girls I work with, and really sometimes we only make it through the day because of eachother.

So how is my baby girl? absolutely amazingly wonderful! She has changed so much in the past month, her little personality is really developing. Every morning she wakes up talking to herself-making the cutest noises. I just love it! When I come to her crib and peek in on her, she gets this huge smile on her face and starts giggling. That smile is worth every heartache, every disappoint on the road to now. Mia has really connected with us. We went to my friend Katie's baby shower, and Mia could not take her eyes off of Dan. It was so cute! No matter where he was, she just followed him with her eyes all over the room. She's such a happy happy girl, and SO much fun to be around. I think shes going to have a pretty chill personality. Every once in a while, she breaks out into hysterical crying, but usually its because shes really tired or really hungry. Its pretty funny actually because she will go from just hanging out with us to sobbing in seconds. She also talks to her toys hanging from her swing. It sounds like she's having full conversations with them. Every time I try to video her, she stops and just stares at the camera. How does she know? Well, I finally snapped a shot with my phone of her smiling when she wasn't paying attention.

She will be four months next Thursday, I cant believe it! Time is flying and we are enjoying every second. Sometimes when she wakes up super early, like 530-6am, I feed her, and then bring her into bed with me and we snuggle and sleep together. She cuddles her little head right up next to mine.

The other day I went to Target with Mia to pick up some baby stuff, and had a mini-revelation. I looked around and saw all kinds of moms with shopping carts topped with infant carriers, and I was so humbled and THANKFUL. So thankful that I was one of those moms! Sometimes it doesnt seem real, but in that moment, I realized just how far God has taken us. I remember vividly walking past the baby section and forcing myself to look away, wondering if I'll ever get to shop in those aisles. Many things in life we take for granted, but shopping in the baby section at Target is something that I definitely do not! It really is the little things in life.

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My List of "Must Haves" for a Newborn

2012-01-02T17:44:00.000-08:00

So, many of my friends are having babies. I thought I'd ring in the New Year with a list of the things I was soo grateful to have when Mia was first born. Having a new baby is amazing and wonderful, but can also be stressful! This is just a fun list of things, and they aren't in any particular order. Enjoy!

#1: BOPPY PILLOW!

I absolutely love this thing. Its a cuddly perfectly shaped "pillow" to support your baby when you need to set her down for a few minutes and want her to stay safe. They say not to let babies sleep in them, but Mia falls asleep in hers all the time.

#2 : BURP CLOTHES

These are a must have, especially if you are bottle-feeding, supplementing or pumping. My baby is especially drooly, and we dont feed her without a burp cloth. They are amazing

#3: BOTTLE WARMER

A real time-saver. Since microwaving bottles is not recommended, it can take forever to heat up your bottle in hot water. The bottle warmer is so easy and quick, we even take it with us when we travel!

#4: SWADDLE WRAP

Babies love to be swaddled. Swaddle blankets are great,but if you have a mover and wiggler like I do, she(or he!) will soon be breaking out of her blankets and then waking herself up because she's not swaddled. The swaddler is great because it has velco so they are nice and snug and cant really get out of it. Mia started sleeping better as soon as we got one (thanks Sonja!)

#5: SOOTHIE PACIFIER

Other pacifiers just don't cut it. These are actually the ones we give to parents in the hospital, but they really are the best. If Mia is fussy for any reason, we give her the pacy and she couldnt be happier! The only downside is that you cant attach them to a pacifier clip, but hey, for a happy baby, its worth the trade off! It even helps her fall asleep at night which is wonderful. I like that you can put your finger inside of it so she can get a good suck on the pacifier.

#6 NETFLIX!

Netflix you wonder? Yes! It is an absolute must-have in my opinion. There are so many times that I watched it while feeding Mia just so I wouldn't fall asleep during feedings! It can really help get you through those first sleepless weeks when you are too exhausted to do much of anything else.

#7 DIAPER GENIE AND CHANGING TABLE

I combined these two because I had a picture of both of them together :) Not everyone claims to need a diaper genie, but it our house, its a must have. Our dogs love anything that smells disgusting, so diaper genie is the perfect way to hide stinky diapers. And its just plain convenient. There are many forms of changing tables, and its just so helpful to have a nice soft, clean place to set your baby down to change him/her. I love having bins underneath to easily grab diapers and other essentials.

#8 BABY SWING

Mia loves her swing. She loves the motion, the little toys hanging down and the music. She recently started talking to the toys which is adorable. Its such a great place to set her when I need to get stuff down around the house. She is happy in there for a long time and will usually eventually fall asleep!

#9 A GOOD BOTTLE OF WINE

Of course, I'm not breastfeeding so its a little easier for me to claim this as a must have. Sometimes after hours and hours of crying, there is nothing like a good glass of wine! For you breastfeeding moms out there, you can have a glass after you baby goes to bed for the night; or if shes still getting up to eat, theres always the good ole "pump and dump" method ;)

#10: INFANT TUB

Having a tub that is safe for a young baby is a must have. I love Mia's tub. My sister and I found it at Target on clearance. It has a mesh portion for her to lay in so that her head is supported and above water. It makes bathtime so easy! Remember, never leave your baby unattended!

#11 INFANT CARRIER
When you want to bring your baby with you, but don't want to pack a stroller or lug around a carseat, an infant carrier is the way to go. Now, I have a Target version of the Baby Bjorn, and I'm not completely happy. It hurts my shoulders after a while. I'm thinking of getting a Moby wrap. But I do overall love having something to carry Mia around in. I love having her close to me!

#12: Instant Hand Sanitizer!
To conclude my list of must haves, I am a huge fan of instant-hand sanitizer. As a nurse, I'm pretty much obsessed with hand washing. I have a pump by Mia's changing table, and I use it constantly. Anyhow, you can never have too much around the house! But, if you get anything on your hands (poop, etc) you should always wash with soap and water.

Well, I hope you have enjoyed this fun little list, and I wish you a very happy New Years!!

Adoption Day

2011-12-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

She's our baby. Forever and ever. On December 16th, Mia officially became a Burgess. The day was very surreal, and somewhat anticlimactic. We got to court at about 9:30am, and waited for our turn before the judge. We went into the courtroom with Mia, and our lawyer asked us some very simple questions. For example "Have you ever been convicted of.?" and "Please state your full name." It was pretty much just going through the motions. The whole process took about 15-20 minutes. Our lawyer was so great and really guided us through the process so that it felt like a piece of cake. We are so blessed that everything moved so quickly and without any issues!

From the left: Our lawyer, the judge, us, and the guardian at litem

The official Burgess family!

A Proud Daddy:)

One very happy Mama

I've been a bit behind on blogging lately, but we just got back from CT. I'm excited for new blog posts to come!!

I love comments! Feel free to post anonymous if you don't have an account.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

The Great Nursery Reveal

2011-12-13T14:05:00.000-08:00

So I am finally putting up pictures of Baby Girl's room. Most women have about 20 weeks to plan a nursery, I had about 6 days. Thankfully we had some help. The night before we met the birthmother, our friend Joe Turner came over and helped us paint. I had an idea in my head of what color I wanted, and the first one I chose at Lowes was a perfect match! When we came home from meeting her, my sweet friend Elysia had bought us the rug we registered for. It was Mia's first nursery item, and again, a perfect match!

Her crib is from my dear friend Carissa. I am so thankful for it! She gave us the mattress and everything and it was white which is exactly what I was picturing for her room. The cozy rug is from my Target registery.

It took forever to get her bedding because I had it custom made. I figured I would just get bedding from Babies R Us or something, but its pretty much impossible to find pink and aqua colored bedding for babies. Everything is either pink and green or pink and brown. This amazing lady on Etsy made Mia's bedding in 6 weeks, if you want her name let me know!

This is probably my favorite part of her room. I love this little corner. The best part of the day is rocking her to sleep at night in this chair. I got the pillow from Marshalls (I'm a budget shopper!) and the blanket on the chair from Etsy.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to get a glider or not, but I found a really inexpensive one on Craigslist from a really sweet woman right in town. I was glad to take it off her hands! I would love to say I painted the flowers, but they are actually decals. One of these days I'm going to make an awesome painting for Mia's room; just not today ;)

A changing table was a must have for me. We have very limited storage space in our house, so this was a great way to utilize extra storage! The bins are from Target (of course) and the changing table is from Once Upon a Child (an amazing consignment store in West Ashley).

This sweet verse is above Mia's crib. I couldnt seem to get a clear picture of it but, it says "For this Child we prayed, and the Lord answered our prayers" I Samuel 1: 27, with her name at the top. This was also a custom designed-decal from Etsy.

Her dresser is from Target. I really needed one and didn't have time to shop around or wait for one to come in the mail (seeing as Mia was already home with us!) so Target had this in stock and it works perfectly. I love the drawers and the white looks so pretty with her crib. The letters are hand-made by my friend Elysia, such a sweet gift! The lighting is slightly off in the second picture, but I wanted to showcase the the work she put into the letters. I love it!

Having a little girl is SO fun! I had a blast decorating her room. Its very budget friendly and the best I could do with a newborn at home!

I love comments! Thanks for stopping by :)

Little Miss Mia

2011-12-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

We are gearing up for baby's first Christmas! We put up the tree this week and I decorated with pink and purple. Of course Dan didn't have much say in this. I bought some new decorations on a whim and decided that the color scheme would be in honor of Mia. I mean how often do you get to celebrate a little girl's entrance in to the world? My only issue with the tree is that its not real. We bought a fake one last year because we were going out of town for Christmas and didn't want to come home to a dead tree and pine needles everywhere. This year, we'll be in CT so alas, the fake tree made an appearance again. I only consented to having this imposter tree if we can replace it with a real one every time we are home for Christmas. There really is nothing like the smell of fresh pine at Christmas! I just love everything about this time of year!!

I'm still getting used to not having snow on the ground at Christmastime, it seems like we are celebrating in April. All part of the "sacrifice" of living in the South I suppose. ;)

Now for the part you having been waiting for-an update on the littlest princess!She is almost 10 weeks old! I cant believe how quickly the time is going, I am learning to savor every moment with her. She has been full of new surprises these past few weeks:

At her 2 month visit, she was 12 lbs, 4 oz and in the 90th percentile! what a big girl! her pediatrician thought that she was perfectly healthy. she is finally starting to get a little baby chub, which is absolutely adorable.

She can just about hold her head up by herself, which is exciting because I can hold her in more positions now. She loves to make eye contact and look all around, especially at lights.

One of my very favorite things that I have yet to capture on camera is her smile. I remember not too long ago waiting for that sweet smile, and now she pretty much smiles constantly! In the last few days, she's started smiling when she sees me or her daddy. It's the best thing ever!! She is SUCH a happy baby and I can take her pretty much everywhere. My cousin and his wife came to visit and we spent about 2 hours on the USS Yorktown. Mia was perfectly content to hang out in the baby bjorn the entire time, it was great!
Another one of my favorites is naptime. Pretty much every afternoon Mia and I take a nap together. She just loves to snuggle. I'll put my head right next to hers and she'll cozy up to me and fall right asleep.

Queen of the bed!

Mia made a most hilarious discovery recently; her fist. She noticed it one day and stared at it in wide-eyed wonder for the longest time. Sometimes she forgets about it and then finds it again. Dan and I crack up every time she stares at her hand. I'm sure she'll soon discover that it's tasty too!

I fall more in love with her every day. Some people have told me that they worry that if they adopted, they wouldnt be able to love the child the same way they would a biological child. The love I have for my daughter is something I cant even explain, it just grows stronger and stronger and I can't even imagine loving a child more than I love her. So no, it doesnt matter if we share blood or not, she is my beloved.

Up next, pictures of Mia's room, yay!!

ps- Feel free to leave a comment, I love comments! if you dont have an account, you can post by using "anonymous"

cruising and Ohio-ing

2011-11-30T18:01:00.000-08:00

Wow. We have had an amazing two weeks. We have been living out of suitcases, thus the reason I haven't blogged in a while. A few months ago, Dan and I decided that we needed to do something to celebrate our 5 year anniversery. We really never go on vacation; we travel it's pretty much just to see family. The last time we took a real vacation was our honeymoon. We were still working on our homestudy, so we figured it would take a long time before we adopted. This would be our last big hurrah before starting a family! So, we decided to book a cruise. There are very inexpensive cruises out of Charleston, and we had never done one before, so why not? Our friends dear Daniel and Katherine actually asked us to go and it was just the opportunity we had been looking for! What could be more fun than vacationing with your friends? Well then, as most of you know, Mia happened. What an outrageously wonderful surprise. Dan and I remembered we had a cruise booked, and thought oh crap, so much for that. We thought about it and said, you know, Mia will be almost two months, we might need the vacation, lets just do it! I'm so glad we did, we had an absolute blast. My sister Emily came down and watched Mia which was an amazing blessing. Other then Mia's grandparents, Emily is probably the only person I felt comfortable leaving her with!

The day we left, charleston was absolutely freezing!!

you can see the ravenel bridge behind us!

Ok well it was really like in the 40s, but to those of us who are used to the warm southern breezes, it sure felt freezing. The first night we all really felt the rocking and I thought I was going to fall over! The first morning we went to breakfast-cafeteria style and I was saving our spot at a table. I literally felt my body swaying back and forth in my chair. But after a while we all got used to it and it wasn't so bad.

The first night on the ship we were all freezing so we threw style to the wind and bundled up in the warmest clothes we brought. I clearly did not pack appropriately, since most of my attire consisted of summer dresses and cute tops and skirts. Thankfully, our first full day at sea was a good bit warmer and we were able to enjoy walking around and exploring the ship.

We enjoyed a yummy outdoor lunch by the pool!

Our friend compared a cruise ship to a giant floating Golden Corral. I thought that was the most hilarious comparison but also so true! We chose to eat in the semi-fancy restaurant every night which always included a 3 course meal. You could literally order two of everything if you wanted to, and then get room service later that night. Now, how do they expect you to eat like that then try to squeeze into your bathing suit? That is just cruel! ;)

One of my favorite experiences was "formal night." Since Dan and I are not super-fancy people (I prefer maxi-dresses and flip-flops) we didn't bring crazily fancy clothes, just something we would wear to a more formal church (I can't really even say our church because Seacoast is so laid back!). A TON of people however opted for their finest attire which made our night all the more interesting. Women wore the equivalent of prom dresses and men wore tuxes. There was even a rental shop in case you forgot your tux or fancy handbag. I wish I had taken pictures of some of them! Some women decided to accessorize with cleavage, and I thought really, do you want every man on this ship staring at your chest? I guess you do!

Ha! Well anyway the rest of the trip was a blast. We enjoyed the onboard entertainment, specifically the comedian. It felt like Showtime at the Apollo. The guy was just hilarious. People were literally fighting for seats.

Our favorite part of the trip was probably the Atlantis Resort, in Nassau, Bahamas. I had no idea a giant waterpark/aquarium could be SO fun!!

We found a secluded "adults only" lounge area on the ship and made a habit of watching the sunset in the hot tubs. Well, Daniel and Katherine made more of a habit then we did, Dan and I usually caught up on sleep in the late afternoon. The last day, Katherine and I spent the afternoon laying out and eventually moved to the hot tub where we enjoyed Mai Tai's and a gorgeous sunset!

So, to conclude the cruise tale, Yes, I would recommend going. It really is what you make of it. You can have as little or as much fun as you want! We opted for FUN! (and plenty of sleep!)

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was so so amazing. We had a wonderful time with my family (mine is in Ohio, Dan's is in CT where we will be heading for Christmas). It was almost surreal to be enjoying such precious time with our family and having a sweet baby girl with us. Every day I am more amazed by her and more blessed by her. She is so so cute and sweet I just can't seem to get enough of her! She changes so much on a seemingly daily basis. But the best change of all is...SHE IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!! thank the Lord!

We had a very full and eventful thanksgiving. My mom finally met Mia. I am so thankful for how well everything went. Without going into detail, our family has been through alot the past 2 years, and it was so nice for my mom to have a nice time with Mia.

My sister Emily and I dragged ourselves to Walmart at 9:30 on Thursday night. I know, we bought into the consumerism, but it was so worth it! We got 1 out of about 20 40" tvs for a ridiculous price. It was my dad's christmas present. He is the type of person who will never spend money on something for himself, so we sneakily got it for him! The funny thing was, he didn't even notice it and we had to point it out to him. He was like, "OH!!" Well it really was the best gift ever because the kids (my little brother and sister, Carmen and Chessie, respectively) had a blast playing the wii on the big screen. Ok, Dan had a blast too. ;)

Pretty awesome. who knew a wii could be so fun? Especially for a 28 year old!

Our favorite family tradition is going to the Pine Tree Barn to pick out a Christmas tree. There have been many miserably cold trips to this place, but we happend to go an a gloriously warm day. Its always a hilarious adventure.

On Sunday, we had a get together with close friends and family. My two best friends from home came with their significant others. I adore those girls and I am so grateful for our continued friendship through the years!

Me, Christine and Kristen :)

My Uncle Tom and Aunt Julie also came, and brought a good portion of their kids and grandkids. It was sooo nice to have them there, and needless to say, we had a full house!!

Uncle Tom, Aunt Julie and a very special dress

Faith, my cousin Shawn's daughter, and Chessie my sister comparing hair lengths

My cousin Jeanette also dropped by. So great to see her!!

All in all, we had an amazing time in Ohio. We are beyond thankful. God has chosen to bless us richly. My family has been through alot of heartache, and this visit was such a sweet time. Having Mia is bringing healing to our family in a way. God allows suffering, but he also offers redemption and joy. I am continually humbled by His grace.

Ok, sorry for the extremely long blog. Next blog-dedicated to Mia pictures!!

Mia's first shower

2011-11-17T13:40:00.000-08:00

Here are the promised pics from Mia's first shower. It was so beautiful! This was a couple's drop-in shower. We were so blessed by everyone there! Mia was 2 1/2 weeks old in these pictures :)

My Hearts Cry

2011-11-14T19:00:00.000-08:00

Human Trafficking.

We don't want to talk about it. We don't really want to hear about it. We don't even want to acknowledge its existence. Please, don't stop reading, I know this may not be the blog post you were expecting, but please, hear me out.

Unfortunately, human trafficking is very much real and very much exists today. We have grown up reading about slavery in the United States and are horrified that something like that happened. We are thankful that slavery no longer exists. The truth is, slavery continues to rear its ugly head through the entire world in the form of human trafficking; and even more specifically, sex trade. UNICEF estimates that almost 4 million individuals are trafficked each year. Even worse, they believe that 50% of these victims are children. Yes, children. My heart aches even as I write this.

I have been drawn to this subject for many years, but recently God has put the fire in my heart to DO something. An organization that is near and dear to my heart, Compassion International, featured human trafficking in Brazil in their fall magazine. Below is a link that grabbed my heart-strings. Please, if you don't even read the rest of this blog, read this article.

http://www.compassion.com/magazine/prevent-child-abuse.htm

For those of you who do not really understand what human trafficking is, here is an exerpt from the article:

Brazil is overtaking Thailand for numbers of trafficked children. UNICEF estimates that at least 250,000 children are currently forced into prostitution in Brazil, mostly in the northeastern part of the country.
“Sex tourism” in Brazil is a lucrative, booming economic industry. Organized sex tourism companies market tours for European and American men. Taxi drivers, hotel workers and pimps work together to organize meetings between adult predators and the boys and girls. Pimps get children high on crack, then offer the children’s tiny bodies to the men for a few dollars.

(For more on Compassion, follow the link on the side of this blog)

I hope you are as horrified and disgusted as I am. Every time I look at my sweet baby girl, I can't even imagine someone trying to hurt her like that. Children are so innocent, I grieve for those who have been forced into this evil business. Slavery is a violation of human rights, and each and every child deserves to have those rights. This stirring of injustice was rekindled in my heart a few weeks ago during a sermon on Jonah at Seacoast. The speaking pastor posed the question "What is God calling you to that you are running from?" He then went on to explain that his wife felt passionately about human trafficking and started a group at Seacoast that partners with the A21 Campaign. http://www.thea21campaign.org/. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I know that he was just giving an example, but this was my heart's cry!

I first felt strongly about this subject after a trip to Brazil in 2005 with my uncle to work at an orphanage. I learned while I was there that most of the children in the orphanage were not in fact orphans, but victims of sexual abuse. I began to learn more about human trafficking and the sex trade. Amazingly, God was able to use my experience as an abstinence educator to provide counseling and healing to these girls. Ever since then I have yearned to do more.

I don't know what this will look like for me, but I wanted to share this journey I am starting. After reading this, God may be tugging at your heart as well to help stop this horrific reality. Compassion and the A21 campaign have great resources for ways to get involved. I am excited to see how the Lord uses this in the future. If you were able to get through this blog, I appreciate your willingness to read all the way through.

We're still here!!

2011-11-10T05:15:00.000-08:00

I have been the most terrible blogger in the world. Mia has become SO active and wants her momma every second of the day. Can you believe she is 6 weeks old? She has gotten so big, every day she looks bigger to me. She had a 4 week check-up appointment and was 9 lbs 3 oz. (and right in the 50th%ile!) She must be at least 10+ something now. A couple weeks ago I put away all of her newborn stuff, and I actually got teary. I cant believe that I was sad that my baby is no longer a newborn. Each stage is so wonderful, she gets cuter and more interactive every day.

So what have we been doing? Well, our pediatrician gave us some great suggestions for helping Mia get more regular and sleep for longer periods during the night. We really dont know what we are doing so it was really helpful! Shes now sleeping 4-5 hours at night instead of 2-3 hours, much to the relief of Dan and myself. I dont know when she will start "sleeping through the night" or if she will, but shes definitely on a good schedule! When she was a newborn, she could sleep anytime, anywhere. Now she wants to held constantly. Her favorite thing is to snuggle up on our chests on her belly and fall asleep. its super cute.

My friends at work threw us an amazing shower, I was overwhelmed by the love and generosity of my friends. I am so blessed to work with such amazing ladies! I didnt take any pictures but some friends did so I will post when I get them =).

We call Mia our little snuggle bear because she is just super cuddly. Without knowing this, my friend Elysia got her the PERFECT outfit.

Dan and I are determined to be "cool" parents. We bring Mia everywhere! We dont want to be trapped at home with her all the time and lose our relationships with our friends. So instead, we just bring her =). Its all about the timing, and as long as we time it right we can go anywhere (well except the movies, which we are sad about). A week or so ago, we went to Mexican with our good friends Ashley and Brandon, and they got to the restaurant before us, and when we got there, there wasnt room for a high chair to put the carseat on. Well, we had plenty of room underneath so we just stowed her under the table and she slept while we enjoyed a delicious meal! After we finished eating, Ashley wanted to play with her so we got her out. Our hispanic waiter came over to us with a hilarious look on his face and said "I did not know you have baby under table!" (in a heavy accent of course). We all burst out laughing at this.

Dan's mom came last week, actually, 2 weeks ago, for about 5 days(the days and weeks blur together!) We had such a great time! His mom was sooo helpful and did the 3am shifts with Mia which allowed us to be very well rested that week. She loves tea, so what better activity then to go to the Charleston Tea Plantation!

Its obvious where Dan gets his height from ;)

This picture is my dream come true. Nothing sexier than my husband carrying my daughter around!

I love this little poster about the South. It was in the gift shop, everything is soo true!

We also visited Angel Oak, and Dan and I have never been there before!

And now for the GOOD NEWS!!!!....

Our Adoption will be finalized December 16th! We thought it wouldn't happen till January, but our amazing attorney found a loophole to get the court date approved before the 90 day waiting period. This is so exciting for several reasons. Our baby girl will officially be a Burgess. She will get a new birth certificate, social security card, etc. She is already ours but it will be nice when it becomes official. Also, if our adoption is finalized before 2012, we will be eligible for the adoption tax credit this coming year, instead of waiting a full year. This will help us out financially, especially because Dan pays his taxes when we file since he is self-employed. Instead of paying a giant amount to the government in taxes we will hopefully get a refund! This is all so clearly the work of the Lord, and we give Him the credit for everything. He knew in the beginning that Mia would be our daughter, He just waited for us to listen to His plan!!

Anyhow, my sweetie is crying, so I have to go. I will post more soon I promise =).

I am in LOVE!!

2011-10-17T14:29:00.000-07:00

Last weekend (a week ago) my dad came back down with my little brother and sister and they got to meet Mia for the first time. They were soo cute with her. Chessie was in love with her and treated her like a little baby doll. She wanted to do everything for Mia; feed her, change her, dress her, carry her, put her in the swing. It was precious. We went for a walk in the park and Chessie insisted on carrying her in the baby bjorn. it was too cute! She also kept propping her head up under a pillow, it was hilarious.

Carmen secretly adored her too, he just wouldnt confess to it ;).

A Proud Grandpa!

For lunch last Sunday I cracked into the olive spread my Aunt Sue gave me a couple years ago and Carmen and I made Muffaletta sandwhiches, which were awesome, if I do say so myself! The key was definitely the olive spread which was especially made in New Orleans. If you've never had a Muffaletta, you will just have to give it a try! And don't worry, these were quartered!

Now I'm sitting here writing this blog with the most beautiful little girl cuddled up next to me. Sometimes I just stare at her all day! Mia and I had a very eventful day today. This morning, my friend Jessica came over and we put poor Mia through all kinds of crazy poses to get newborn pics. I love her little naked body, its just so so cute. She's hardly ever naked because she doesnt like to be uncomfortable and usually puts up a fight when I change her clothes (usually about 4 times a day!) Anyhow, I know that we ended up getting some great pictures, I cant wait to see how they turn out. Jessica also brought over her little 2 year old daughter who was absolutely adorable. She helped her mommy "pose baby Mia." It was really cute! She also got a little jealous but was quick to arrange a flower around Mia and give her lots of kisses. What a sweet morning. These pictures arent from today, but she is just so gorgeous I cant help taking them! The first one she looks hilarious like she is sunbathing, and the other ones she was looking at Daddy, so so sweet.

Then I trekked downtown (I say trek, but really its like 10 minutes) and brought Mia to human resources to add her to our insurance. Then of course I had to bring her by labor and delivery so my friends and co-workers could see her. I really do love my job and I am blessed to work with some amazing women! It was so much fun for everyone to be able to share in my joy. Its hard not to adore Mia after meeting her. The girls at work planned a shower for next week and I am just so excited! We really are like a family. We spend such long hours together and go through very wonderful and difficult things at work, its hard not to get close! Plus they have been rallying around us since we decided to adopt, and really even before that. Not everyone understands adoption, but I am blessed with people in my life who both understand it and love it.

I have just one more itsy bitsy thing to say =). Its something I've got to get out even if its not easy to say. 3 people on 3 separate occasions today commented innocently "Now that you've adopted, you'll get pregnant!" And 2 out of the 3 said "You'll see, you'll have one of your own soon!" I know that they don't mean to be offensive, but it really hurts to hear that. Mia IS our own, shes our daughter, even if I didnt give birth to her. We love her every bit as much and she is more than we could ever ask for. Someday we may get pregnant, but we are not planning on it and adoption is not a means to pregnancy. I am so so happy with the way God chose to grow our family, I already dream about where we will adopt our next child from! Please dont be mad if you read this and you have made this comment to me, I know you didn't mean anything by it, but I just want to make readers aware that it does hurt to hear those comments and part of being an adoptive parent is education to others who maybe don't understand adoption as well.

Well tomorrow I will be separated from Mia for 8 hours for a class I have to take at work. I'm on FMLA but nurses have to keep their licenses updated and unfortunately this class is a requirement to stay current so I have a job to go back to!

Thanks for following!! =)

Prayer needed for an adoptive friend!

2011-10-12T14:13:00.000-07:00

I wanted to pass on this post from my friend's blog site. They have been in the process of adopting their sweet baby girl from Ethiopia and have been running into so many problems! If you could lift them up in prayer that would be amazing. my heart breaks for them and what they are going through. thanks!

10.07.2011

I wish we didn't have to write this...

Below is an email that was sent out to our family and friends. We felt the need to share it our our blog because we know just how incredibly supportive people have been through this whole proces. Thank you for coming besides us, every step of the way. We believe Degeme will be home in God's timing....

Dear Family & Friends,
This morning Justin and I received some very difficult news that we feel we need to update you on. Our case has been determind as having insufficient evidence to allow us to bring our Degeme home at this time. [Please do not ask us to go into details. Thank you for respecting our family's and our daughter's privacy with this.] We have learned that the US Embassy is now forwarding our case to another government entity and we were told that, in about 1-2 months they will notify us that our case has been reviewed and what additional paperwork they want.
We have no idea what this all means. We don't know why our government is making this so difficult, however we recognize that this battle to bring her home goes beyond men's hands. God is true to His word, and we are reminded that He is in controll of all the uncontrollables in our lives. Hopefully, this morning we will be able to talk with our agency to gain a better understanding of what comes next.
Right now, we ask that you would be covering our family in prayer. Please, understand that we appriciate your concern, but it has become incredibly weary to explain what is happening over and over or going into specific details. We know you care, but we need you to support us without all the details. Believe us that we will update you as we feel we can--we very much appriciate your encouragement and prayers. It's the fuel that keeps us going. Thank you for coming alongside us each step of this process. We see God in the details of this network of support He has given us. He is unmistakable. We have amazing family, friends, dear freinds in Ethiopia and a new extended family of other adoptive parents whom we could not do this without.
We have dedicated ourselves to His calling to build our family through adoption and we love this little girl beyond words. Thanks for taking the time to pray for our little family.
Because of Christ,
Kati & Justin

http://fillingthenest.blogspot.com/

Our life with Mia =)

2011-10-11T12:30:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!!

Well, all of the family is gone, and now its just me, Dan and Mia. Mia is now two weeks old! The first two weeks were, well, rough. Mia has been a sweet little baby, but 3 days after we brought her home, I got miserably sick. Then as soon as I started feeling better, Dan got sick (of course!) He's starting to feel better and I feel great, other than the sleep-deprivation, which I don't think is going to go away! Thankfully, my wonderful sister Emily stayed with us for almost the whole time, she left yesterday morning. I really don't know how we would have gotten through it without her help. Dan and I swapped the night hours and Emily did the morning shift so we could sleep!

My wonderful friend Carissa signed us up for mealbaby, which is pretty much a meals on wheels for new parents. It has been such a blessing because sleep deprivation +illness+new baby = very bad cooking! We have also had so many visitors the past couple weeks, its been so nice to see our friends and have company. Its funny how the days, hours etc all kind of blur together with a newborn. We are falling in love with Mia more every day. Sometimes I just stare at her and cant believe shes our daughter and we have her for the the rest of our lives. She's so beautiful and sweet. Well, we have gotten alot of questions, so below I'm going to answer some of them!

What type of stuff do we still need? Well, thankfully we have been given alot of the big stuff. We have a carseat, bassinett, swing, crib. We bought a cute little dresser from Target to match her room, and I found a changing table at Once Upon a Child in perfect condition. We have been given soo many clothes too! For the stuff we still need, we are registered at Target. We would love to get a stroller and we can always use diapers and formula (Similac). We are flying through both of them!!

How are the dogs with her? We were a little nervous because although we adore our pups, they are somewhat, hmm, wild. Amazingly, they have been so gentle and sweet with her. When she cries they get concerned and really mopey. I think Bailey (our little girl dog) is a little jealous, but shes really good with her and tries to cuddle with her every time I'm not looking! Jack, our giant softy, licks her across the face whenever he gets the chance.

How is she sleeping, eating, etc? Its funny because every day is different. Two nights ago, she slept beautiful and woke every 3 hours for feedings. Last night, she got up every 1-1.5 hrs. Shes not a huge eater but she eats more and more! Plenty of potty time too! ;)

Are you going to keep blogging? Yes! I love sharing our journey with you, adoption through parenting!

How are we doing financially? We have paid all of our agency fees, amazingly we had enough money in the bank for it! It was an enormous amount but she was soo worth it. Our adoption isn't finallized, so we still have $4,000 to go. If you havent supported our adoption and feel called to support us, we will be so thankful and blessed by your donation. I'm not going to be shy and say we dont need a little bit of help! =)

What type of contact do you have with the birthparents? We chose to have an open adoption with the birthmother, as you know from previous posts. The first few days were soo hard emotionally because the bmom was constantly contacting me. I felt that I couldnt bond with our little baby and that she wasn't mine. Thankfully, we have set up some boundaries and I feel much better about our relationship. We are going to send her occasional pictures and do visits every 2-3 months for the first year. We really want to maintain a healthy relationship with the bmom and we really care about her. bdad said that he would be involved but I have a feeling he will fall off the grid in a little while.

Thank you so much for following our blog, a new and wonderful friend offered to do newborn pictures for free, and she is coming tomorrow morning. I'm so excited! Mia is so beautiful and photogenic I cant wait to see her captured through the lens of a good camera. My camera is just ok. Anyhow, I will post pictures from it when we get are finished!!

Mia's birth story

2011-10-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

           Mia Cadence Burgess 9/26/11 at 10:44am, 7lbs 0oz

This is the first opportunity I have had to actually sit down and right an update on our situation!! It's hard to believe I am sittng here telling you about our adoption story =). The Lord has been so good to us, we are so so blessed by this little life.
                                         Your love oh Lord, reaches to the heavens
                                        Your faithfulness, stretches to the sky
                                     Your righteousness is like a mighty mountain
                                       Your justice flows like the oceans tide

                                                     And I will lift my voice
                                                    To worship you my King
                                                    And I will find my strength
                                                    In the shadow of your wings

"...I am the woman who stood here beside you, praying to the Lord. For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him" 1 Samuel 1:26-27

Sunday night, a little over a week ago, I received a text from the bmom, saying that she thought her water broke. This was at about 1245 at night. She didnt know what to do so I told her to go to the hospital because if her water was broken, she would need to be delivered. Meanwhile, we had gone to hibachi with our friends earlier that evening, and Dan had been exposed to seafood and his tongue was starting to swell. The worrier/nurse in me gave him two benadryl, just to be safe! Well here I am anxiously awaiting bmom's text to find out if shes ruptured. I am a nervous wreck so I start cleaning (lol later dan remarked that someone must have come and cleaned while we were gone). Then I find out that she is in fact ruptured, and shes now laboring. The physician decided to let her labor as a VBAC(vaginal birth after cesarean) instead of going straight to the operating room. This was great news because now we had more time to get to the hospital. I really really wanted to be there when the baby was born. So I go into the bedroom to wake my husband and he is knocked OUT. I'm like, babe, we gotta go, now! He mumbles something under his breath and falls back asleep. I could not wake him up for anything. Thankfully, he did finally wake up and we got in the car and started the 3.5hr treck to the hospital, at 1:30 in the morning, mind you. When we got to the hospital, bmom was still in labor. I dont really want to give any more details for privacy, but at 1044 that morning, our baby girl was born! I was able to be in the delivery room for her birth, and I even did her initial stabilization because the nursery nurse wasnt there yet. At my hospital, we as labor nurse stabilize the baby after its born, but at their hospital the nursery comes in for baby. It was so special to dry off my own baby, check her heart rate, muscle tone, color etc. The labor nurse was like, phew, I'm glad you're here! How special is that. We spent the next 24 hours a basket of nerves waiting for the papers to be signed. During the labor, the bfather showed up which terrified me. He hadn't been present for the entire pregnancy, and then he showed up for the delivery. At first he was really upset about the adoption (even though he knew about it) and did not want to sign papers. He really could not contest much since they werent married and he wasnt involved during the pregnancy. He did decide to sign though which was a weight off of our chests. The bmom was awesome during the delivery and the next 24 hours. Although we were nervous, she never wavered from her decision and knew what she was doing was best for the baby. We even had the opportunity to pray with the bmom and bfather after the papers were signed, which was really special.

I am exhausted so I will end the story here for now, but we were able to take our sweet baby girl home on Wednesday morning. She is beautiful, sweet, and precious. She spends alot of time eating, sleeping and pooping! We are so humbled and thankful for this gift. We DONT deserve her, but we are so so thankful for her! I want to thank each and every person who has read this blog and encouraged us. We are especially grateful for your prayers.

1 Chonicles 5:20 "He answered their prayers, because they trusted in Him."

We have absolutely no clue what we are doing! Its funny because we thought we would have like at least 6 months or a year to get ready for a baby. We are learning that we know nothing about newborns, but Mia is showing us what she needs and wants, she is so sweet! I am still kind of in shock to be honest. Everything happened SOO fast. But we are thankful and overwhelmed with love for our little girl! More soon. =)

You probably want to read this!

2011-09-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

So last Friday, exactly a week ago, I was at work. We all carry wireless phones with us because we have alot of emergent situations and need to reach anesthesia, NNICU, OB, etc, and they need to be able to reach us as well, plus it is just convenient when we are stuck in a patient's room for 3 hours pushing with them. Long story short, I had a call transferred to my wireless phone and answered with the usual, "labor and delivery, this is Olivia" The person on the other line said, "Hey Olivia, its Erin from Nightlight Christian Adoptions" I could not mentally separate myself from work, and thought, why is an adoption agency calling my phone? And then it clicked, she wanted to talk to ME! I was like, Oh Erin! Right! She asked if I had a few minutes to talk, and thankfully my patient had already delivered, so I actually did have a few minutes.

Erin then told me that she had a birth mother sitting in her office who was set to deliver in a week. She planned to give her baby up for adoption and had a family all picked out but at the last minute they dropped out because Amom lost her job. Erin asked me to call Dan and ask him what he thought and then to call her back and we could do a conference call with the Bmom. We of course said YES! We talked to Bmom and she sounded really excited too. Then I found out she was scheduled for an amniocentisis on Wednesday, 9/21 and if the baby's lungs were mature, they would do a c-section 9/22, which at the time was only 5 days away! After this phone call I still had half a shift to work, and I almost passed out due to shock. I am so glad that I work with such amazing girls, because they knew what was going on and could help me get through the day!

A little more about the situation. I dont want to say too much because I want to respect Bmom's privacy. Bmom has two children at home and did not plan for this pregnancy. She has hid her pregnancy from friends and family which is why she wanted to deliver on 9/22 (The lungs were not mature so she is still pregnant) her family is out of town this weekend so she wanted to deliver before they got back.

Back to the story, after the phone call friday, I called Bmom on Saturday and we chatted and got to know eachother a little better. It is truly amazing how much God has changed my heart and opened it up to new things. A year ago, I told Dan I had no interest in domestic adoption, I was only open to doing international adoption. Obviously that changed! Then once we started the process, I said that I only wanted to do a closed adoption. The idea of open adoption terrified me! Now Bmom and I are texting back and forth every day. I feel so blessed that I will know so much about my daughter's bmom, who she is, where she came from, her likes and dislikes, etc. And we've grown to really care about her! We dont know how much of a role she will play in the baby's life after she is born, but we are so grateful to have gotten to know her a little bit. Wednesday, two days ago, we drove up to the area she lives (I dont want to say where on the interest to protect her privacy) We met her at the agency, then drove to lunch. I was soo nervous. She had the amnio that morning, and we were awaiting the results to find out if the c-section would be the next day! I think Bmom was nervous too, but thankfully my super-laid back husband joked around and we all loosened up. After lunch we went to her dr's appointment with her and she found out the results of the amnio. She was absolutely crushed that she couldn't have the baby this weekend. She is terrified of her mom finding out. I felt so bad, I wished I could take her pain away. She cried for a little bit. We went to the scheduler's office to schedule the surgery for the following week. Bmom pulled herself together knowing she had no choice. She is most concerned about who will watch her children while she delivers. The surgery is set for...(drum roll please!) Tuesday, September 27th at 0800. My baby will be born less than 5 days! After the appointment we stood out in the parking lot and talked for another 20 minutes. This time no one was nervous, I think mostly since we knew the plan for delivery. We absolutely adore Bmom, she is a remarkable woman.

Ok, so, what am I thinking about everything? Well, most people know about the stages of grief;denial, anger, etc. I like to think that I have been going through the stages of JOY. For two days, Dan and I were both completely in shock. I have never actually been in shock (not medically speaking, just emotionally) but now I know what it feels like. I felt as though I was in some amazingly wonderful dream and then I would wake up and it wouldn't be real. I felt like i was floating. Shock turned into excitement (stage two of JOY). I couldn't think about anything else and had a smile permanently plastered to my face. All I could think about is holding my sweet baby girl in my arms and knowing she is mine forever. Well this week, mostly yesterday, excitement turned into terror. If you ask the girls at work, they will tell you that was quite possibly having a panic attack. Am I afraid to be a parent? Not at all;quite the opposite in fact. I am TERRIFIED that this won't work out, that something will happen, her mom will find out and try to stop her, and our dreams will be shattered. I want to be a mama soo bad, and I just feel in my heart that this little baby girl is meant to be ours. I have heard about things falling apart right before the birth and I know its a risk we take, but I am honestly really scared that it could happen to us. I do not think Bmom will change her mind, she is very committed to this plan, but if her family finds out, who knows what could happen.

So what stage am I in today? I would like to call today's stage, Cautiously Thrilled. I want to guard my heart, but at the same time I know that this little girl will be born in 5 days and there is a very good chance she will be ours. We have a name picked out, and I will announce it after she is born (some of you already know it, please dont post it just yet!).

Also, I know that the Lord is at work in this situation. This is not by accident. There are so many little signs and reassurances that God has given to us (especially to me, the worrier) For example, we went to church on Saturday night because I had to work on Sunday. Now, our church is huge, and we just happened to sit behind a girl that works on my floor. She is not a labor and delivery nurse, but I recognized her from giving her a patient on post partum. After the service I tapped on her shoulder and she immediately recognized me as well. I shared with her what had been going on and how we had known for exactly 1 day that we were going to be parents soon. She has two children and has had a heart for adoption so naturally she was really excited for us. We both just happened to also be working the next day. So on Sunday, she came over to L and D and said she had a gift for me. She wanted to preface it by saying it was something she picked up at Target about a week prior and felt compelled to buy it, she didnt know why. ( I am probably going to start crying now!) Well it was a Little Golden Book about adoption. It's called "A Blessing From Above" and it's about a Kangaroo that really wants to be a mommy. She walks through nature and sees all of these different animal families together. One day she sits underneath a tree. Above her is a nest full of baby birds. One of the birds gets pushed out of the nest and falls right into Kangaroo's pouch. The mama bird looks down and realizes her nest was too full and that this baby needed a mama to care for her. I started crying when I read this because it is exactly the same story that Bmom and I share together. She had too many children at home and simply cannot handle another one. Also, my mother in law told me last night it was exactly 9 months ago that we told her we were having trouble getting pregnant and wanted her to pray for us. WOAH!

So what can you do to help? Pray Pray Pray!!! I told Bmom that this situation is truly in the Lord's hands now, and there is nothing we can do but wait and pray. I am already soo blessed by our friends and family that have surrounded us, shared in our joy and encouraged us. I wanted especially thank my beautiful friend Carissa Graham. She has given us virtually everything we need for our baby, clothes, a crib, carseat, and much more. I am so thankful! And I know so many of you have already been praying for us and for Bmom and baby to be.

I said I wouldn't do this but...

2011-09-13T18:27:00.000-07:00

I just felt like I had to conclude my post from last week. Alas, our portfolios STILL haven't arrived (what is the deal UPS) and the birthmother was shown two portfolios this morning and chose one of them.

Sigh. My initial reaction was sadness,then I immediately realized something. This was not meant to be our baby. There a reason our portfolios haven't arrived yet and there were not shown today. The couple that was chosen has probably waited alot longer than we have, and God meant for that baby to go with that family.

"My ways are not your ways!" God keeps reminding me of this and I am realizing more and mor how out of my hands this whole situation is. The other day I started looking at nursery ideas at projectnursery.com and just got SO excited. If we got a call tomorrow saying there was a baby for us, I would be overjoyed. But the realty is that we will probably be waiting a while and that is ok to.

Since I entered the blogging world I have realized just how many people go through infertility issues. I even remember when we first went to the fertility center to get testing done, and I looked around the waiting room and saw that it was completely packed with people just like us, wanting to be parents. Why does this happen to so many good, "well deserving" people? Well, this side of heaven, we probably won't know. But what I do know is that no one us deserve the immense blessings we have received (count em, seriously!) and that we don't deserve someone who would die in our place but we have a Savior who did that, free of charge, expecting nothing in return but only because of His great love for us. I know that not everyone reading this blog believes in Jesus but I can't help but talk about Him because of what he's done for me. He is real and he loves you just as much as he loves me, whether you believe it or not :)

One more thing i have learned about since entering the blogging world is embryo adoption. I had no idea how common and even popular this is. At first I thought the idea was kind of strange (carrying a pregnancy donor embryos and "adopting" them) but I now think it is kind of neat. Similarly to donor eggs, you can choose what type of biological parents you want your embryo to come from. For example, I could choose to become pregnant with an embryo from Chinese parents, which is cool! I would deliver a Chinese baby, how strange but kind of neat is that? I don't know if we would ever do this. It's a risk(like any adoption) in that the embryos may not tAke or you can miscarry. It's a neat idea though. I personally (and please don't be offended) feel called to adopt a child or newbor that is in need of a home at this time. I think if I really wAnted to experience a pregnancy, I would look a little closer. But really I just want to be a mama and it does not matter as much if the baby comes from my belly.

Well now I am rambling, and need to go to bed so i can take care of all of my crazy interesting laboring patients in the morning. :)

<3 Olivia

Ups and Downs

2011-09-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

Well we still haven't gotten our portfolios from Snapfish yet, which is frustrating. I decided that I am not really going to post anything else about the matching process because there are just too many ups and downs and uncertainties. Thanks for all of your encouragement, and keep praying! We know God has a special baby out there for us:)

Olivia

Potential birthmother!

2011-09-07T13:28:00.000-07:00

So normally our agency won't tell us if they are showing our portfolio, but we haven't received ours yet from snapfish and our social worker contacted us to see when we might get it because she is going to show it to someone next week, and she has only 2 other families that could be matched with the birthmother. Yikes! I will keep you posted! pray without ceasing!

Profile Up and Running!

2011-09-02T07:34:00.000-07:00

Our profile is now available for viewing on the agency website! Nightlight.org, go to Programs, then Domestic Adoption, then Waiting Families. For your convience I have provided a link. =)

http://nightlight.org/adoption-services/domestic/adopting-parent-profiles.aspx

We also ordered our portfolio books, so we should get them next week. Snapfish had a summer sale and I got them for 50% off which was awesome!

You Make All Things New

2011-08-31T11:54:00.000-07:00

I was at work yesterday. We had a great day for labor and delivery-a few nice deliveries but nothing too crazy. I love my co-workers and it was great to be able to see them for more then a few seconds at time. We actually got to sit down and eat lunch together! (A small miracle in of itself.) And all of the patients I had yesterday were very sweet,which can also be a breath of fresh air!

Despite this wonderful workday, my heart got the best of me. I started to feel very anxious and overwhelmed. My parents are going through a messy custody battle and the whole process is just awful. Between that and entering this new phase of the adoption process, I just needed to calm down, so I called Dan from work. He really didnt know what to say except to encourage me. I have felt frustrated because with anything in my life, if I wanted something, I worked hard and got it. With adoption, it is completely out of my hands! I'm thinking that maybe God wants me to trust him a little more.

Well I got home a few hours later, and there, sitting on the kitchen table was a beautiful bouquet of flowers carefully arranged by my thoughtful husband. I almost started crying!

It was such a gentle reminder from the Lord. I felt Him telling me. "My child, dont you know? I make all things new! I will wipe out the past and make things as white as snow. I am in control, you are not. Know that I love you and have not forgotten you or your family! Place your trust in me."

On Sunday at church we watched a video from Francis Chan (who we love!) and he said, (paraphrased) Who are WE to question God? In Isaiah, God refers to us as clay and He is the potter. Does the clay go around questioning the potter? God knows more than we do! He SEES the end picture, the picture we may not see this side of heaven. This video was challenging and also encouraging! http://www.francischan.org/ and click on "Erasing Hell, Francis Chan's thoughts behind his new book." Its a really cool video!

Our adoption profile is going on the agency's website this week, so that is exciting! Our portfolio is approved and we are getting it printed and sent to the agency also this week. So now our hope will rise as we wait upon the Lord.

Officially "waiting"

2011-08-23T17:20:00.000-07:00

Today we drove to Greenville to finalize our homestudy. We didnt really know what to expect other than reviewing our homestudy report. We left Charleston early to have lunch with the Beidlers, a family from our old church who moved upstate a couple of years ago. Their house was beautiful and the company was even better!

The first thing that they told us when we got there was that they had not had a chance to look over our portfolio yet. I was a little bit frustrated hearing this because I worked really hard on it and sent it to them almost a month ago. They are in transition and our social worker is taking over the domestic adoption program so I understand that our homestudy was happening during the transition, but it was a little disappointing to know the portfolio wasnt reviewed yet. Oh well! We met in a conference room and had to privately read through the homestudy report to make sure everything was accurate. I have to say I was really impressed with how much work they put into writing it! It was probably 7 pages long and very detailed. Its a little strange seeing your whole life written out as a document for the court system, but thats how those things go! At the end we just signed our agreement and were done with the "visit."

I was a little concerned to find out just how small their domestic adoption program was. She told us that they only had 3 matches this year, which to me does not seem like very many. They are trying to expand the program, but it seems that we just coming in at the beginning stages of that. I don't really know what I expected, I guess I just thought she would say, "I already know of a birth mother who is interested!" or something like that. I know that is totally unrealistic, but the reality of how long we may have to wait is starting to sink in. She discussed with us how we will have to update our homestudy in a year if we still aren't matched. Who knows,we may get a call in a month or two, but we need to prepare ourselves for a long wait. I started getting sad in the car ride home, and Dan could sense my frustration. He asked what I was thinking about, and I told him I did not care about money or buying a new car or house, I would happily drive the Taurus around till it bit the dust if it meant carrying a precious baby in the back seat. Dan told me that it is in Gods hands and not to worry but to enjoy where we are at because Gods timing is His timing, and its not up to us. I am so glad that God gave me a husband who does not worry and just rests in Gods will, he is such an encouragment to me! We spent the rest of the car trip being silly and laughing, and I eventually fell asleep=).

When we got home this evening I went to scripture and looked for a passage on peace. God must seriously shake his head at us sometimes at our impatience and lack of trust! It is so wonderful the way He speaks to our hearts through scripture and knows what we need before we even ask for it! I couldnt help but share this verse, it was such an encouragement as well as a reality check!

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

The Word of God is so true and perfect, I am ashamed that I let my mind worry instead of turning to scripture first. Pray that God will continue to give me that peace and comfort that He knows that desires of our hearts and already has a plan in place. My heart definitely needs guarded, and trusting in Gods infinite love and compassion is the only way to do that.

On another note, we discussed in the car about how we want to keep our options open in terms of adoption. I originally wanted to go to an agency because it was safer (in terms of not losing my job by adopting from a patient in the hospital, conflict of interest, etc). But I ran into a friend at a wedding this past weekend and she works in labor and delivery in another hospital in the charleston area. I thought, how silly of me to not think of that! As long as the patient does not deliver at my hospital, my job is safe. But there are 4 other hospitals with labor and delivery units in the Charleston area. So while we are waiting to be matched, we will keep open to other opportunities if they come up. This may seem like a plug, but if you live in the charleston area and know of anyone who is struggling with a decision about an unplanned pregnancy, dont hesitate to let them know about us, or give them our name or our lawyers name. you can privately email me(my email is under our profile) Or if you know me, you can just call me! We want everyone to know we are adopting, so spread the word! =) The more people who know, the more things that may come up. We know that God has a very special baby picked out for our family, and it will be exciting to see the road that takes us there! We are also praying for the expectant mother, whoever she may be, that God gives her the same peace I am praying for as she faces some difficult decisions.

Thank you so much for all of our encouragement and kindness, we are happy that you are following along in our adoption adventure. It sure is an adventure!!

<3 Olivia

To Greenville We Go!

2011-08-21T13:01:00.001-07:00

Tuesday we are heading to Greenville to finalize our homestudy! Then we will be officially approved to adopt in the US! One step closer =) More details to follow soon!

The longing

2011-08-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

My family was in town this week and we had 7 people in our house for the whole week! I wouldn't trade it for anything, people sleeping everywhere! I love having a houseful of people, there is nothing like spending time with family. We even got to travel to my cousin Mike and Jayme's house in Georgia where my Aunt Sue and Uncle John met us. I think I'm still full from all of the food.

This week has only intensified my longing to be a mother. Sometimes it is so strog it almost hurts. I love being around my little siblings and just can't wait till we have our own little ones. Now that we are getting close to our home study being finalized, I am starting to realize we have left to do is wait! I think the waiting is harder than the paperwork. So many doubts keep coming to me, what if it takes forever? What if no one picks us? What if the expectant mother changes her mind? Then I have to remind myself that God has it all planned out, I just need to wait on HIS timing.

I am so thankful that He provided us with scripture to help us on our journeys!

I wait for the Lord , my soul does wait,
And in His word do I hope. (Psalm 130:5 NASB)

So no news, just processing and preparing our hearts for the next few months. I wish it was just easy, but life isn't always what we expect it to be. I am just sooo ready to hold a sweet baby in my arms!

Stay tuned :)

Almost done!

2011-08-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

I have spent every single free minute this week working on our portfolio. I have learned a whole new world of dragging and cropping pictures. The copy and paste didnt seem to work for the text sections, so I was re-typing everything each time. Tonight when i was working on it, Dan said,"did you try the hot button for paste?" I said, "there's a hot button for that?" sigh..one of these days I vow to become tech-savvy! My little brother and sister know more about technology than I do! Thankfully, this so-called hot button worked and I no longer had to re-type everything!

I had a sleepless night the other night(unfortunately before a 12 hour shift). I was laying awake thinking about all of the things I wanted to say in the letter to the birthmother. So I grabbed the computer and whipped together a great letter! Dan read over it and edited today. So now our birthmother letter is done and the portfolio is just about done! I am going to send them to the agency tomorrow over email to look over before ordering a photo book. Yay! We are just one step closer!

It's crazy to think that our future will be determined by this one little book. The birth mother will choose us to parent her child based on what we put in the book. Of course, it's ultimately up to God and He already knows! But still, it feels like a lot of pressure and I want the book to be perfect.

In a couple weeks we will travel to Greenville to finalize the home study and then the agency will begin to show our portfolio to expectant mothers. We are also starting to come up with fundraising ideas so we'll keep you posted!

Thanks for following!

Homestudy visit today!

2011-07-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

We had our homestudy visit today! Being my over-anxious self, I was nervous and didn't know what to expect. I cleaned everything in our house that could possibly need cleaning, bought a new area rug (that I am in love with!) and repainted our windowsill. Bailey always jumps up on it so some of the paint was chipping off. It felt like Christmas was coming and everything had to be in order! Well of course, as my Aunt Sue predicted on facebook, it was a Breeze!! I had a dream last night about it. The social worker showed up intoxicated, didn't ask us any real questions, and the left with a wine bottle in her hand! We were like wait, don't you want to know anything about us? I don't know why I dreamed that, but its pretty funny.

The social worker was wonderful! She was about the same age as Dan and I, which was nice because were able to relate really well to her. There were 3 parts to the visit. 1) Joint interview, 2) separate interviews, and 3) house tour. We did the visit in this order. She asked us pretty normal questions, how we met, why we chose adoption, etc. It was very conversational. I learned that my husband is much better at interviews then I am! If any of you know me, you know that I just love to talk and talk. Well its alot harder when someone is interviewing you! I felt saw awkward answering why I felt like I would be a good mother, how I would describe myself, etc. This is the separate interview. It wasn't a secret, she just wanted us to be in different rooms. I did pretty well until she started asking about my relationship with my parents, especially my mother. It was painful to talk about how I was raised and the questions that went along with that. But it is a part of my history and has influenced who I am today. Our SW (social worker) was very compassionate and understanding, and frankly impressed that I turned out as well as I did. I owe thanks for that to my heavenly Father who has given me such a wonderful earthly father. I am grateful for him every day!

Dan did great job, and I was so proud to hear him speak so eloquently and be so personable. I remarked as much to him afterward, and he said, "Well, I just talked to people like I've known them forever!" I thought that was a great perspective to have! It is so special to be going through this process together, it makes me so grateful to have such an amazing husband. He puts up with alot from me, and he is very patient. It was neat to be able to talk to the SW about how we complement eachother, what makes our marriage strong.. Most people don't really talk about those things on a regular basis, but discussing it made me very thankful for the marriage we have. I really believe that God chose us for eachother. Even though I am not very into music and guitar, and Dan isn't into dance, we do have alot of common interests and are very compatible. And I am very attracted to my husband! Being married for 5 years has brought us much closer together. We've been through alot, and adoption is a very special journey!

The last step was walking through the house, making sure we have smoke detectors, how many bathrooms and bedrooms we have, etc. It took all of 5 minutes. I was imagining her checking the baseboards for dirt, but it really was nothing like that!

This last picture is the guest room that we will turn into a nursery! yay!!

So whats next? We have one more meeting in August to review the homestudy report. Once that is completed, we will be ready for adoption!! We are going to start working on our portfolio now, so that when we are approved they can immediately show it to people. She suggested making and printing an online album for several reasons. Its easier to make copies and it looks more professional. Too bad because I was looking for an excuse to scrapbook! The reason they recommend copies is so that you can show them to multiple birth mothers, and sometimes you do not get the book back. And its also nice to have a copy to keep and show to your children.

I am just so excited and ready! I was surprised by one thing. We have been reading books and preparing for a transracial adoption, but our SW told us that in South Carolina, most of the birthmothers are caucasian. The reason is because most of the time in African American families, an extended family member will come in and take care of the baby, an aunt or grandparent. This makes perfect sense. Because we are open to any race, we simply assumed we would adopt a black, hispanic or biracial child. This may not necessarily be the case. We are ok with any child! We just want to be parents and provide a loving home to a beautiful little baby!

I also wanted to say that I had a very sweet surprise visit this past Saturday from two of my best friends from high school. They were vacationing in SC and came down to visit us for the day, Christine and Andrew. They are very special to us and it was soo wonderful to see them!!!

Thank you for all your continued prayers and support! Thanks for following!

thank goodness!!

2011-07-18T14:15:00.000-07:00

Our fingerprints passed! Whew! I was concerned about having to go back and get refingerprinted. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read my post titled "fingerprints." We are almost done with the homestudy process, I cant believe this is all really happening. Some days, like today, I yearn so deeply for a child, I am humbled and thankful that things are moving in the direction for this to actually happen. I cant wait to be a mommy. We have a great life but there is definitely something missing! Our social work visit is NEXT WEEK! I'm nervous but excited at the same time. We had to take an online parenting assessment, and I completed mine today. It was kind of hard to do because alot of the questions had to do with how we were raised and experiences growing up. This was difficult to me, because as I have some very happy childhood memories, I also have some very painful ones. The assessment was a good reminder for the future of our children, and certain values and ways of communicating that we may or may not want to pass on as we become parents. I am grateful that I can clearly see my childhood and have learned from certain parent's mistakes. I am also grateful for the healthy side of the parenting I received, and that I was raised in a godly home, despite the hard times. Thats it for today!

Thanks for following!

Like the surf of the sea

2011-07-16T16:21:00.000-07:00

Its been a little while since I've written anything, so today is Olivia's thoughts for the day =)

I had a little period of doubting! A couple of weeks ago, my chiropractor sent me the link of one of his clients who is also adopting. Turns out they are using the same agency as us, but they are adopting from Taiwan. I have been soo at peace about everything, that this threw a wrench in it. Then my wonderful dad told me he interviewed someone (for an adoption psych exam) who was adopting from Honduras, which was previously not open to adoptions. Now I'm thinking, oh no, are we doing the right thing? If you read my first post, we originally planned on international adoption, but God had a different plan for us! So of course I started doubting and became filled with anxiety. Thankfully, God uses scripture to gently remind me to stop it!!"But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind" James 1:6 I was so glad for this reminder! I was filled with peace knowing that we ARE following Gods plan in pursuing domestic adoption!

Now I feel more like this!

A lot of people are asking where we are with the process. Well, the best thing I can say about adoption is that it is alot of hurry up and wait. We are still in the homestudy process, so we are just waiting for all of our paperwork to go through. We have a homevisit with a social worker on July 28th! I think thats pretty much the next big thing. Our eduction hours are due before the homestudy can be approved, so I've been reading reading reading! Its funny how when you are reading because you dont have to, its so easy, but now that theres a deadline, I am nervous about getting it all done! But I know it will all work out. Once our homestudy is approved, we will be able to have our portfolio shown to birth mothers. Whew! I ran into a wonderful lady, Janine, who is a hero in my eyes. She is an adoption liason and works with an adoption attorney, and I first met her when a patient of mine was giving up her baby for adoption. Janine was there for the delivery and the whole process, and she was such a special part of that day. We saw each other yesterday while I was at work, and it was such a breath of fresh air and encouragement in our process! I think adoption forms a special bond between people who have been touched by it.

I have been thinking more lately about the sweet baby that will someday be ours. I've been so caught up in the process that I havent spent alot of time thinking about that fact that we will have a beautiful little person in our home in the not so distant future! Now I'm getting the fever! Everytime I see a baby or toddler, I think, I wonder if our child will look like that? I think sometimes domestic adoption is harder because there are more unknowns! What I mean is, if we were adopting from China for example, we know that it would most likely be a little girl, and would be Asian. With domestic adoption, our child could be a black, white, biracial, hispanic or anything really! For someone who is very Type A, this is teaching me alot of patience. It is kind of exciting though, not knowing. Its almost like a pregnancy, except hopefully people who are pregnant know what race their child will be lol. (I once had a patient ask me to go to the nursery and see if her baby looked black or white, since she didnt know who the father was. true story!)

Lastly I have been thankful alot lately. I am reading a book called adopting after infertility, and the beginning part of the book is about really dealing with the loss of infertility before taking the next step toward adoption.It talks alot about women (and men) who have spent years going through fertility treatment and have deep bouts of depression. They struggle everytime they see a pregnant woman, and cant attend kid birthdays or showers. I will admit, when we found out about the infertility, I had a couple of weeks that were pretty dark. I remember sobbing when I found out a friend was pregnant, thinking it was so unfair. I could barely go to work and deal with pregnant people who were 20 years old and on their fourth baby. THANKFULLY, God quickly brought me out of that!! Ever since we made the decision to adopt, I have been filled with peace! There are times when I wonder what it would be like to be pregnant and have a twinge of wistfulness, but mostly I think about the fact that I will be a mommy!! I am thankful that I haven't had to deal with severe depression or years of treatment. Of course we could have gone that route, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with people who choose to pursue treatmet, but it was just not for us. It just never ceases to amaze how following what GOD wants instead of what WE want makes life easier! I turn 26 next week and I am thinking that this will be my last birthday not being a mother, wow!

Thanks for following! Olivias thoughts for the day are now concluded ;)

"I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla"

2011-07-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

Four our homestudy, we are required to read a certain amount of books, webinars, etc. We can choose which books we read, but our agency gives us a list of suggested books.

Since we are open to a child of any race, we picked this as one of our books on transracial adoption. I have been reading it ALL DAY!!! It is written by a black female psychologist who works with families and children. This book is helpful for anyone, regardless of you or your childrens' race or color.

I cant help but be reminded of the continual references to "faith like a child" throughout scripture. Pre-schoolers break down the barriers of race because they see things simply as they are, without the racial connotations and prejudices that many adults view the world through.

For example, the author interviewed a group of 3-year-olds as part of research for this book. She showed them pictures of children of various races and asked them to pick the person that looked the most like them. An excerpt from the book is as follows:

"The answers of three-year-olds will leave you amazed at how irrelevent skin color and race are to their self-concepts. When I tried the photo task with Tasha, for example, she said the girl in the photo she picked looked like her, 'Cause I'd like to play with her," and Belinda explained her choice with the words, 'Cause she's nice.' Few three-year-olds wil give an appropriate skin-color label for the photo of the child they looks most like themselves."

"Moreover, childen who do hve an awareness of their skin color describe it with their own distinctive words, such as chocolate, vanilla, or peach, which relate to their experience with food rather then racial categories."

The author goes on to discover when children are very aware of race, they are usually influenced by someone close to them. She states that preschoolers are disinterested in categorizing people by racial groups, but rather whether they are "nice" or "mean" or "fun to play with." Wow! If only we could erase the influences we have had throughout our lives to view the world and each other through the eyes of a pre-schooler.

"For God sees not as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

No matter who you are reading this blog, I would recommend reading this book. It is inexpensive, I downloaded it onto my Kindle for $7. It is very informative and educational about the racism and predjuices in our country and what WE can to to change it as we raise our children.

Fingerprints

2011-07-05T17:24:00.000-07:00

So Dan and I went to get fingerprinted today. The reason is so they can run your fingerprints through the FBI database and make sure you aren't flagged in the system. We thought, well since neither of us have a criminal record, should be no problem right? Wrong! Apparently, I don't have fingerprints. No seriously, I don't. The lady doing our prints said between 2-5% of the population have poorly defined ridges that make their prints unidentifiable! How random is that?

We went to Orlando this past Christmas and I locked my purse in an electronic locker opened by fingerprint recognition. Well, after the ride was over I went to get my purse and the locker refused to open saying it could not recognize my print. We had to get an attendant to open it. I thought that was the strangest thing. Well, now I know why!

It took about 20 minutes to capture my prints, and it took Dan about 20 seconds. She said I still might run into problems when the prints go to the FBI, but hopefully they will be able to read them and I won't have to go back again!

Moral of the story, I could have gotten away with being a career criminal! Oh well, I guess I will just stick with nursing :)

Homestudy officially in process!

2011-06-24T20:31:00.000-07:00

Our agency emailed today confirming they received all the necessary paperwork and are beginning to process our homestudy information! The agency's social worker emailed me and will be coming to visit the last week in July. It is starting to become real and sink in that this is actually going to happen for us.

The great thing is that throughout everything, God has continued to humble me and show me how much better it is to walk with Him instead of on my own. I used to get sad and feel sorry for myself when I found out someone was expecting, but now I am just excited for them and can share in their joy! I know that someday, maybe soon, maybe we will have to wait awhile, God has a little one for us. We just have to wait on His time and not our own!

I remember when my parents sat my sister Emily and I down and told us they were adopting. I thought they were completely crazy. Now, over a decade later I cannot begin to imagine Chessie and Carmen not being my brother and sister. God always knows better then we do, He just waits for us to figure it out. He definitely has a sense of humor!

For those of you that dont know my adopted siblings, I'm attaching pictures because I cant help but share them with the world!

Crossing the Ts

2011-06-21T11:59:00.000-07:00

So this is the adoption process so far:

Step 1. Choose an agency, then send in an application to the agency and wait for acceptance letter. Step accomplished!

Step 2. Before we can being the adoption, we have to have an approved home study. For those of you who are new to the adoption process, a home study is basically an "investigation" in a non-threatening sense of course, to ensure that you will be good adoptive parents. Any type of adoption, whether international or domestic, requires a home study. There is mainly a lot of paperwork and visits from a social worker to see that we will provide a safe and healthy environment for a child. It's kind of ironic really, when I encounter people on a daily basic who probably should go through screening before getting pregnant (I'm a labor and delivery nurse) But life is full of irony isn't it! we know God has a special purpose for our family and it will be so worth it!

I spent the last two days filling out paperwork and getting it all ready to send in. Dan and I both had to get health physicals yesterday to make sure we are healthy enough to be parents! Luckily Dan and I really don't have any health issues so it was seamless. (note, health issues don't necessarily prevent you from adopting!) We then went to the bank and had child abuse registry forms notarized. (hope we pass! Just kidding). I went to the vet today and got a copy of our pets vaccinations. Whew! The forms a filled out were incredibly detailed, from our eye color to what kind of activities we did in high school! we also had to have three couples send in reference letters for us. (thank you guys!)

Today, I am happy to say I have all the home study paperwork in the mail and on the way to the agency! What a weight off of my chest! Being a nurse definitely has it's advantages, I'm awesome at paperwork! Once they receive the paperwork, the home study process will take 4-6 weeks according to our agency, so hopefully by the end of summer!

What comes next? While we are in the home study process, we will begin to put together a portfolio. This is basically a scrapbook containing a snapshot of our lives. I'm actually excited to do this! Once the home study is accepted by the state of SC, the agency will start showing our portfolio to birthmothers. The birthmother may choose us, and if they do the agency will contact us. Wow, I can't wait till the day we get that phone call! I'm already getting excited!

This is going to be a crazy summer! I keep picturing myself as a clown, juggling the different areas of my life and trying to put good effort into each one! I recently started teaching zumba 4 times a week, and it's alot of work learning new routines and keep the classes fresh and exciting. I have to say, we are so blessed, even without children, with such a full life. We have so many amazing friends, activities, great jobs and a great church, and we couldn't live in a more beautiful area.

Thanks for journeying with us!!

How our adoption journey began

2011-06-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

I am new to blogging so this blog will be pretty simple at first. Dan and I decided to start to have children August of 2009. A year went by and nothing happened.We weren't too concerned. After a year and a half, we decided to go to my doctor to see if there was a reason we weren't conceiving. She ran a few tests, then I got a devestating phone call. My tests results came back that my fsh (follicle stimulating hormone) was really high, which meant I had decreased ovarian reserve. My world came crashing down. I think everyone worries they won't be able to have children but no one actually thinks it will happen to them. My doctor referred me to the fertility specialists who were more positive and felt we would have a good chance with IVF. This idea was a little scary to us, so we decided to try IUI first, a less invasive method. When that failed, I felt paralyzed with what to do next. We had just one shot if we wanted to try IVF (in vitro fertilization). Dan didnt really like the idea of IVF, and I just couldnt go through the emotional toll it would take. I really didnt know what to do.

I started reading "Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope," by Mary Beth Chapman. (This is an amazing book, very heart-wrenching but an incredible story and testament.) At a certain point in the book, she describes the adoption process and what it felt like for her first adopted daughter from China to be placed in her arms. She said from that moment she knew that was HER daughter. At this point in the book I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit and started sobbing. I will always remember that moment as the time God told me to wake up!; He had something so beautiful in store for us through adoption! I quickly callled Dan over to the couch and asked him to sit down. Through tears, I explained how God had spoken to me and wanted us to adopt, rather then go through IVF. He responded with, "Well, I have been waiting to hear you say that!" Even more confirmation that this was Gods plan. Dan had been praying about it as well and it had been confirmed in his heart; he was just waiting for God to do a work in me.

Our adoption journey began. I went a little crazy researching adoption, different countries, where we could adopt from, agencies...You name it, I researched it. I discovered that alot of countries had very strict requirements on adoption (Age, length of marriage, etc) I had always wanted to adopt an Asian child (my sister is Chinese) and found that we fit all the qualifications of South Korea! I was overjoyed! Everything was lining up perfectly!! Then I got another blow. One of the agencies we applied with called and said that because I had taken medication for depression, South Korea would not acccept us. I couldnt believe it and yes, cried again. I started looking into Ethiopia and found that we fit all of their qualifications, so it must be a match. After doing more research, I discovered that their government had shut down adoptions by 90%! So of course, I was doing this all on my own, my way, not Gods way.

I had always said I would never do domestic adoption. Just wasn't for me! The main reason is because I had always heard horror stories about people giving the babies back after the birthmother changed her mind down the road. I couldnt imagine going through that! Well as "educated" as I was, I was very incorrect on the laws of South Carolina. A friend, Christi Ferguson, who has also adopted domestically, told me that once the papers are signed (which is before the baby leaves the hospital) there is no going back. So Dan and I met with an adoption lawyer to get more facts. He confirmed what Christi had told me. Of course, when the baby is born, the birth mother can decide to keep it, and we are ok with that. I just couldnt imagine spending 30 days bonding with an infant, then having to give it back. Wow, this was all shocking and eye-opening to me! Of course, my easy-going husband was pretty much ok with whatever I was ok with. I began to see that God had a completely different plan for us!

" For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are My ways your ways,' declaires the Lord" Isaiah 55:8

Thats for sure! So our journey begins! We are officially accepted by an adoption agency in South Carolina! We are open to any race, any gender. We both know that God already knows what precious child will come into our lives, we just need to wait on Him. I will be updating this blog as we go along in this process, so stay tuned!! Please keep us in your prayers as there are many ups and downs and hoops to jump through =)